Review of xXx: Return of Xander Cage (2017) by Marymaebennett — 07 Apr 2018

I’m willing to say the majority of you haven’t heard of this movie. It completely flopped in the US, I’m pretty sure it was only here for one week, but then made boatloads overseas. Just goes to show you how important foreign box office is… I never in my life had any intention of seeing the third installment of the Xander Cage franchise, nor did I even know it was a franchise.

However, they kept talking about just how awful it was on ScreenJunkies and I was sold. There are so many awful moments I could pull for this review but I don’t want to spoil anything; therefore, I will just say in the opening scene, Vin Diesel, using Spanish I had just learned from my third day on Duolingo Spanish, skies in the jungle and then skateboards so fast that there is a fire trail.

The dialogue is just as poorly constructed. The actors are mostly monotone (esp. Toni Collette who apparently had an Oscar nomination once?). Mix that in with the weirdest editing where you know there shouldn’t be a cut in the scene when it goes to other sequences and low budget effects, you’re in for a good time.

I saw an interview where Vin Diesel said he made this movie to be fun and that’s exactly what it is! I am totally watching the other ones now! #noshame P.S. If you want a movie that is intelligent and not offensive to literally anyone and everyone, this may not be the movie for you.