Review of X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009) by Duloth — 11 Oct 2015

This is the only movie I've ever watched that I could do a better job of directing than the man who actually did it. With excellent actors playing the key roles of Wolverine, Sabretooth, and Deadpool; good actors for the rest of the roles; a decent special effects budget; and a script that could've been a good movie with some minor adjustments.

The movie isn't absolutely terrible. It would be hard to make something absolutely bad with everything it had going for it. But what it has is inexplicable off-camera deaths, poorly arranged cookie-cutter action scenes that seem to be simply a matter of showcasing people's abilities, and completely insane themes and adjustments.

A character is implied to have died off-screen, killed by a character who it is difficult to imagine actually hurting them. A seasoned combat professional shown using assault rifles during his military career is shown attempting to defeat someone in unarmed melee combat who he literally cannot cause an injury to in that way. A character is shown climbing a wall at the beginning of a scene before others enter an elevator, and simply vanishes for the rest of it.

This film's director made numerous terrible, unforgivable mistakes, all of which could have been resolved without substantially altering the budget or storyline, some of them while actually decreasing it, such as a ridiculous scene near the end involving fighting in a power plant with mouth-covering makeup on a character(and actor) known for his witty dialogue.