Review of X-Men: Apocalypse (2016) by Daveyboysmith — 23 Dec 2021

Almost 180 million Dollars worth of bad cosplay and even worse dialogue. The only somewhat intriguing parts include the opening chapter, the final team line-up and introduction of the Danger Room, as well as a speedster's spectacular feats.

The most tragic event, Magneto's loss of his family, is cynically viewed as but a plot device to propel the story forward. And once again the horror of Ausschwitz is misappropriated by people who lack the intellectual ability to do anything enlightening with it.

A movie such as this, one featuring a multitude of newly-introduced "mutants" and warring ideologies, could only ever have succeeded with tight plotting, an intelligent script and confident production design. It lacks in all three accounts. Kinberg is a hack writer. Singer's propensity for casting young aspiring male actors is all the more troubling in light of the allegations of sexual misconduct that surround him.

The depiction of Arabs and Slavs is stereotypical, lacking in empathy, and all the more unfortunate seeing as how X-Men movies purport to deal with minority issues and xenophobia - though this cast of almost exclusively white heroes would suggest a white-washing of social issues, anyway.

Even the actors acknowledge that they're in a dud by phoning it in. Find another actor or actrice who hates their trademark franchise as much as Jennifer Lawrence hates X-Men at this point. Oscar Isaac is unrecognisable as the main villain, and gives an uninspiring performance. Rose Byrne is completely wasted, unfortunately. The only motivated actors would seem to be James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender, and Magneto's tragic life makes him far too deep a character for this frequently campy film.

I lol'd hard at the sight of Wolverine's raggedy... jorts.

The MCU reboot can't come soon enough.