Review of Windtalkers (2002) by Allen G — 16 Mar 2013

Have you ever seen a film where you can tell just by the font used in the opening titles that it's gonna be a bad movie? If not then check this one out. The ridiculous scene that follows confirms that THE FONT MATTERS GODDAMN!

The novelty of seeing Cage in a war movie is pretty entertaining but it needs to be captured right for him to just not seem ridiculous and nothing here is captured right. At least there's no mock-Italian accent this time though. (see Captain Corelli's Mandolin for that) This one is shot so terribly throughout that it manages to make just about any scene funny. never mind something involving Cage who it just naturally hilarious.

The script is quite insulting on the viewer's intelligence and the plot is insulting to the true story that this movie is supposed to be based on. It's badly directed, badly shot and nothing works really- even the score is overly-emotional and out of place. It's at least in tune though, making it far better than the film itself.

The fight scenes are decent at the core- realistic and brutal but everything around them ruins that with the failures mentioned above on full display throughout. Even the blood is clearly fake, though there's not much of it thankfully.

The performances aren't bad but, again, it's all captured as if it's intentionally trying to ruin the career of every actor involved. Nic Cage's career can't be stopped though. Christian Slater's on the other hand? ehhh.

There's something satisfying about seeing them in the same film though, it must be the sheer amount of glare-age going on or something.

I knew this was gonna be bog-standard and so I went in with bog-standard expectations and even then it disappoints. This isn't a war film- it's a bad action movie that just so happens to be set around war. Auch, I've seen worse though. It's maybe acceptable as a comedy? (Mark Ruffalo's moustache ladies and gents!) I dunno, I'm trying to be kind to it. Out of pity.