Review of Where the Wild Things Are (2009) by Janson J — 28 Oct 2011

What kind of mopey muppet shit is THIS? Where's my beloved ode to conquering the fearsome terrors of darkness and night shadows? Where's the id of the kid that defies to be tempered? Where's the goddamn WILDERNESS?!? What's this? TEARS!?! That's what we get? Wasn't any TEARS in the book I remember. "I'll never grow up to be a vampire". What's this mushy mouth kid talking about? And how old is he? 12? 13? I thought Max is supposed to be like 5, maybe 8 tops. You know, around the age of a kid who would actually be reading "Where the Wild Things Are". Are there any 12 year olds still reading this picture book? Is THIS the state of American education?

And who are these irritable passive-aggressive bitches? All this, "Well, fine, guys, I'll just be over here, by myself (sob sob). No really, it's OK, I'm just whining cause I'm so wild, don't mind me." I actually lost count of how many times one of these 'wild' things had to be asked not to cry. And then, when one finally goes violent. Why? Because he's got insecurity issues. (WHAAART!!!) They're sensitive, these wild things. The whole point of the book is that they're Scary but Harmless. Not Emotionally Unstable! I couldn't stand it. I couldn't stand the Starbuck Rock. I couldn't stand the moping and moody brooding. The 20% is solely based on the fact that Spike Jonze's original version was rejected because test audiences were 'too scared'. (serves 'em right...) So, we'll see if that cut ever sees the light of day, and I'll be very happy to forgive appropriately.