Review of Whatever Works (2009) by Charlieg — 01 Nov 2009

Finally a movie that has made Cube look like quality entertainment. Perhaps like me you saw the previews and thought, hey, what a witty film! Don't worry, you just saw the only four funny lines in the film.

Whatever Works should have been advertised as lite porn for octogenarians, and even they might get turned off by the incessant yammering spewed from Bore_us that passes for...intellectual charm? There's only so much poorly phrased "quantum mechanics" based put-downs a person can tolerate from a liberal arts major.

Perhaps Melody isn't the only one who could stand to benefit from some college courses. But don't misunderstand, it's not just bad wording this film suffers from. Nor is it the fact that the main character is an opportunistic pedophile, or that all of the women are just waiting to get it on with multiple men (and I use that term loosely as there is only one hot man in the entire film).

It's the complete flaunting of religion, life purpose, and basic human decency responsibility. Instead of fathers being fathers you get sex crazed closet homosexuals; instead of mothers being mothers you get promiscuous pimps that are OK with their daughters being whores to older men but really would prefer shallower jerks with nicer exteriors.

And instead of younger women being intelligent, responsible, or even mildly desirous of having children you get brainless ditzes who are not just OK with having sex, but have no other life meaning. This movie makes me want to join the American Riffle Association in case there are any zealous fans infesting my neighborhood.

I'd be happy to help Woody achieve better results with these failed suicide attempts I hear he's struggling with.