Review of We're Not Married! (1952) by Bob V — 13 Dec 2010

A starring vehicle for a declining Ginger Rogers, who paradoxically has the smallest and least memorable part, this movie centres on the concept that a justice of the peace performs a set of marriages a week before he's allowed to. Two & a half years later, one of the couples wants a divorce and discovers they were never married to begin with. We then go see how the five remaining couples react to the news.

Basically a "risquà (C)" wink at the audience about married life, it of course ends up reaffirming the sanctity of marriage and the power of love. The thin and rather hard to believe plot (I'll not say it's impossible, since I know little about American law and even less during this period) is cute enough, but for contemporary audiences the main thrill will probably be in seeing quite a few legendary actresses in one mediocre movie:

Ginger Rogers's career was on the decline, Eve Arden's had seen its brightest days as well, and Marilyn Monroe, Mitzi Gaynor & Zsa Zsa Gabor had not yet become the stars they would soon be (for Monroe, the breakthrough was literally months away). To top it all off, Jane Darwell, little remembered today, was once a truly beloved actress, and I have no idea what she's doing in this movie. For those who don't know the name, Darwell's had been retired a while and in bad health when Walt Disney convinced her to play the Bird Lady in "Mary Poppins". Sadly, she died without ever seeing the movie.

Rogers has little to do here, Monroe just looks pretty and plays stupid with a twist, Arden is great during her "blink and you missed it" scene (younger viewers might just manage to recognize Arden as the principal in the "Grease" - movies), Gaynor is cute and mght just have the 'best' part in this piece of fluff. And then there's Zsa Zsa. The Gabor sisters rose to fame and the one living sister is still holding on to it in her ancient, manicured hands, but it was only one of them who actually had even a modicum of acting talent. Zsa Zsa in later years became good at playing a caricature of herself, but that's all she played well, and this, her first 'real movie' shows that off by having her say 5 lines and stand silently throughout the rest of the movie. And she's still unconvincing.

In its way a special movie for the once-in-a-lifetime cast, which on the male side also includes Victor Moore, David Wayne & Fred Allen amongst others. And a tiny part for Gloria Talbott, who would later go on to be an early Scream Queen.

To recap a review which is really much too lengthy for a movie like this: famous people, not stellar acting, silly plot, predictable ending, you'll not hate it, but few will put it on their "Best I've seen all year" lists.