Review of We Can Be Heroes (2020) by Sceppy — 08 Jan 2021

This is probably my 2nd least favorite movie of all time, I know this is a **** Robert Rodriguez film and I shouldn't be getting so uptight but I'd rather saw my balls off with sandpaper than watch this **** I have a great nostalgia for spy kids and sharkboy and lavagirl so I was excited to here a new film and especially one with Sharkboy and Lavagirl and everyone saying the film was a sequel somewhat but it's clear that it was bull****. They do nothing for the plot and the whole "oh they have a kid thing" doesn't excuse it either, they do NOTHING at all for the film. The only reason why they probably had Sharkboy and Lavagirl in the film was because they probably finished the the script and started production and realized that the no one would watch or give ****s about the film the way it was, so decided to nostalgia bait people with the two into watching the film. Like Sharkboy doesn't even say anything during the entire **** film and either way their in the **** film for a total of like 4 minutes so yeah. Now as for everything else its just as bad, the acting from all (especially the children) is either unemotional or bland, the plot boring beyond belief and moves way too fast, to the point where my I thought my spine had shattered from a scenes progression I thought I was **** paralyzed. The characters are all so boring or generic along with the plot I almost fell asleep. The ending makes no sense whatsoever based on the events in between the action of the main parents/heroes and seems only to be their to force a moral message. The action and fight scenes are so boring and fake that I've seen bread toasting in real time with more intense action. And finally the CGI where, in 100% unironic honesty looks worse than Spy Kids 3-D, which at least with Spy Kids 3-D the cgi had somewhat of a charm with its look, giving off the child sense of mind and wonder that the first 3 Spy Kids and Sharkboy and Lavagirl films had done so well. In this film it's so bland and unpolished it gives off none the charm whatsoever and is so obliviously bad. Overall this film is 2 and 1/2 travesty's worth, and I would not recommend it in the slightest, its makes Spy Kids 4 look like The Godfather. I just hope that no one ends up having to grow up with this film instead of all the other Rodriguez films (except Spy Kids 4 but it's still better than this) cause I'd feel just depressed if this is what people are gonna look fondly back on in comparison to Spy Kids 2 or Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

P.S they didn't even bring back Taylor Lautner for Sharkboy, so **** you Netflix.