Review of Warcraft (2016) by Todd A — 06 Oct 2016

The Warcraft story has been around in my families lives for something like 24 years, and I have a lot personal investment in it. I was there when Warcraft I came out. I have many friends involved with , in, and around Blizzard. So I think it's time I took a serious look at the Warcraft movie, but with great care.

Review TL;DR - Warcraft disappointed. It could have been worse, but still will never click with American audiences. My super geeky wife fell asleep fairly rapidly, and I was reminded of the age old D&D movie with the story structure and direction given to the actors.

Why? It tried to be too many things at once, and so the end result became good at nothing. It failed to connect as there was nothing nor anyone to connect to.

And here is where the **SPOILERS** start.

To go further, ask yourself, what is this movie about? Who is the main character? Honestly, besides saying it's about the conflict between orcs and humans, I couldn't tell you what else this movie is about! Too many under developed plots. Is it about Khadgar's rise? Is it about Llane's fall? Is it about how Lothar is a squirrely rogue? (err what?) Is it a multi-racial love story focused on Garona? (err WHAT?!) Is it about Durotan's rebellion? Is it about the birth of Moses baby Thrall? WHO THE FREAK KNOWS? It's almost as bad as discovering Silithus, only to find it empty! BLIZZARD, UNFINISHED CONTENT HAUNTS OUR RELATIONSHIP!

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Now some detail. There are quite a few deeper reasons Warcraft fails to deliver that are worth bringing up, however.. first some good things!:

1. The movie is beautifully done with great CGI. Someone paid some money for it!

2. There are Wolf riding raiders! Thank you for that!

3. Orcs are scary! They look wonderfully accurate, and the detail put into them is awesome.

4. Stormwind is beautiful!

5. I'm glad that it was pointed out how the orcs and fel eats up the world around them.

6. Magical casting is COOL!

7. Seeing TONS of references to various locations is really neat!

Aiyte.. now for the bad:

Plot issues within the actual movie, fighting itself:

1. In the first half hour, it takes 10 humans to fight one orc. Humans are literally squished like ants. HOWEVER In the last half hour, it takes 10 orcs to take 1 human. The Orc's big weakness is death by ankle. There is no reason or rhyme behind this.

1 1/2. As a side note to this. When we begin the orcs TOWER over the Humans. By the time the King and Durtan meet, they are the same size. Orcs might be smaller still towards the end.

2. Medivh's betrayal is never really explained, and written off by "Oh, he fel now". But the how "he fel" is never given a .. "why".

3. Why are Dwarves and elves even really involved at all, just to not do anything with them?

4. Gul'dan is a great gynecologist, but a horrible evil demon sucking death dude.....

5. The movie is very disjointed and uninvolving, which makes the end result, Killing the king, not really something we care about.

6. The opening is completely forgettable, and has little to do with the movie itself. Doesn't even introduce us to anyone.. or really.. anything but again: "the conflict between orcs and humans" is.... happening. Yes, it's a nod to the first Warcraft III opening cinematic and I appreciate that nod. However it does nothing for the MOVIE.

Matter of fact.. small rant. Don't make GREAT pains to nod to the lore, then stomp on it. Bad. bad.

So before we go on, since I feel some red shirt guy is needed, as there are MANY inconsistencies with the games. In someways, the movie gives a solid nod to some lore and tried to fix some of Blizzards own convoluted inconsistencies. (Why is Thrall GREEN anyway?!) But then the movie blatantly disregards other parts of lore and kinda poopoos the fans. There are so many continuity errors to Blizzards already established lore, that I have to organize by subject:

My biggest issue: Khadgar.

1. Khadgar is Medivh's apprentice. This is made a HUGE point in the games as recently as the expansion that came out just this last month. The movie does nothing with this and brushes it off. This is the biggest and most blaring discrepancy.

2. Khadgar has not broken with the Kirin Tor. There is no reason for any of this in the movie. (why?!) Even worse, Khadgar is actually the emissary of the Kirin Tor. Perhaps even their poster child!

Garona:

1. Garona's mom is Draeni, not an orc.

2. Garona is well established when she goes through the dark portal. She's a bad azz. Unless we talk about Mind control.. which brings us to...

3. The mental controls Gul'dan has in place on Garona would have been much more interesting.

4. No time for Medivh and Garona to ... uhh.. get it on.

5. Lothar love story WHAT?

Dalaran:

1. It isn't supposed to be floating... yet.

2. Are there only old people in Dalaran?

The Alliance:

1. Not even thought about until the second war. Elves, Dwarves etc... not involved. So this council thing.... not supposed to be there.

2. There are a LOT more human delegates and representatives in this council thingie. Lorderan is receptive instead of an A-hole..

3. King screams "For the Alliance!!!" towards the end.. but.... what alliance? The one that movie wise that doesn't help? Or the one that lore wise doesn't exist?

General Orcs and Humans:

1. Not a single human had a crossbow, not a single orc threw a spear.

2. No other warlocks or representation of the Shadow Council besides Gul'dan.

3. The orcs are WAY more massive, and why are all humans skinny little dudes?

Blackhand.

1. He's killed by Ogrim Doomhammer, Not Lothar.

Thrall:

1. Born during the wrong war. Thrall isn't born until the second war, 7 years later.

Lothar:

1. Dude is motha freakin general of all of Stormwind's armies. Not some side plot rogue hack, who ends up in prison.