Review of War Horse (2011) by Matt W — 04 Dec 2012

Oh dear. Where's the realism? To think I was going to watch a movie about Jack Seely and Warrior, a story far more heroic, dramatic and realistic that this tosh. (google it right now. No really, do it.).

It's just a fictional movie based on a fictional book. Moderate start, daft middle, emotional ending. Where's the dead horses? Where's the dead men? Where's the war? I loved the irony of a horse being called a "war hero" that started out with the British, did one charge, somehow survived despite losing his rider under machine gun fire (this didn't happen, everyTHING got cut to bits), switched allegance to the Germans, desserted, became a neutral, switched to the Germans again, hauled one gun, desserted again, ran away and wound it's way up in the hands of the British. Even Blackadder couldn't have managed that kind of skive! Seemed to suggest the writer was a historical retard, not that that would ever stop hollywood...