Review of Virgin Witch (1972) by Micheal Myers' Brother — 17 May 2008

It has been a month since I saw this movie. The day after watching Virgin Witch, I went on Flixter to write a review and found that the movie hadn't been added to the database yet. So I sent an email asking for it to be added. I knew that it would take several weeks for anything to be done about this because, as they say in their 'About Us' section of the site, "Flixter is currently run by seventeen people." And yet they're putting Flixter on Facebook and Myspace and other websites, too. Why the hell are they doing that, when they can't even take care of their own site? So sixteen days later, someone finally emails me back and says, "We'll add it!" It's been thirteen days since then, and it's finally showing up in the database. In short, it's been one month between my having seen this film and it being added to the database because Flixter is run by idiots. So please forgive me if I forget certain aspects of the movie.

Alright. That rant is out of the way. As for the movie, what looks on the DVD case like nothing but a soft-core porn is actually a movie with a story, although a severely limited one. Two sisters join a modeling agent at some creepy castle in the woods to get their photographs taken, but guess what -- the modeling agent and everybody there are actually witches! And they want to turn the sisters into witches, too.. or.. sacrifices. I don't know. Something like that.

It's silly. There's nudity. And lesbianism. There are a lot of things that don't make sense. Like why the camera zooms in suddenly on a stoplight, as though the fact that there is a red light is somehow supposed to be frightening or something. Or when one of the sisters freaks out because some guy looks at her, but then runs into a guy pointing a gun at her and just stands there looking bewildered.

The plot turns into something about one of the sisters trying to take over the coven or something, and.

SPOILERS.

She kills the main witch woman by -- I'm not making this up -- stabbing dirt with a dagger. How does that kill somebody? And then the movie just ends.

What?