Review of Violent Night (2022) by Hnestlyonthesly — 10 Jan 2023

Violent Night tells the story of a complicated hero who plans to steal from a privileged family of thieves. That's not how you remember the trailer? Watch the movie and tell me I'm **** wrong. Mr Scrooge, played by national treasure John Leguizamo, assembles a team of working class thieves to steal--Ocean's Eleven-style--from war criminals and thieves.

But this plot really plays second fiddle to some of the most satisfying fight scenes of the year. On the spectrum of choreographed fight scenes with the Matrix, Sherlock Holmes, and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon on one end and Stray Dog and You Were Never Really Here on the other, Violent Night sits comfortably on the Slapdash/Bar Brawl end.

Save for Posterity Most of the kills are body horror, shriek-inducing, falling out of mouths like dominoes dropping, unexpected, unasked for. I was tempted to rank the deaths of the various victims of Santa, but I think that much like X or Jurassic World, each individual is going to find their yummiest murder on their own terms.

There are a variety of send ups to the Die Hard and Home Alone franchises, but everything is dialed up to eleven in terms of violence. The premise of Santa's power scaling is that he's sort of like a superhero, so he can withstand a lot more abuse than the regular guy (falling out of windows, off roofs, getting walloped in the face with canes and the butts of rifles, etc.

), and when he hits you, you can fly through walls. David Harbour does an admirable job taking a beating in this movie, and really is there a kinder man you would want to watch have the **** kicked out of them? He boards the paintrain with the same painted acceptance as a child who has recently gathered that there is no exit from the rollercoaster at the top of the hill.

Santa's relationship with Mrs Claus is oddly sweet and pure. The movie is a lot of things, but it is not raunchy, which allows for Santa to retain a little bit of class even as he terrorizes the gang of do-gooders who are trying to liberate the world of this awful tyrant.

David Leitch, one in the same as Bullet Train's director, has done a fine job of critiquing the holidays in perceptive ways. Mr Scrooge's Rashomon-meets-Joker-style storytelling is haunting my dreams in every moment that isn't taken up by watching Wednesday's Rave'n Ball dance.

Did he really push that old man down the stairs? Is that why Santa didn't visit again? Why did Santa condemn all the rest of Scrooge's family when only he was responsible? Why didn't Santa try to save THAT guy on Christmas that year like he was doing for that sweet nepotism baby in this movie? When Santa tries to obfuscate with the nepotism baby when asked about why he clearly doesn't give a **** about 90% of the world population when distributing presents, he gives the most unsatisfying of answers, "I come to those who need me.

" I call **** bull**** and so does Scrooge, buddy.