Review of Vera Drake (2004) by Mr. J — 17 Aug 2005

Once upon a time in Englishville, UK, there was a woman named Vera Drake and she was impersonated by Dame Judy Dench. A group of people came together to make a movie about her life and they called it [i]The Story of Vera Drake[/i].

This movie gives insight into the lives of English people living in the time of the Revolutionary War in France. Here are some things that these people did in these historic times:

[list][*]Sit in living rooms.

[*]Drink tea.

[*]Have awkward conversations about arranged marriages.

[*]Get knocked up by strangers.

[/list]The latter is what this movie is really about. Some woman who I believe is Sara Silverman has sex with one of the Beatles great-great-grandparents. She gets pregnant and then has absolutely nothing to do with Vera Drake. Then later, some other girls have casual sex and pay the price for being dirty, dirty tramps.

My cousin reminds me of them because she's fat.

Because everyone in England is a Republican, abortions can only be performed by Catholic priests and gays. But Vera Drake fights for her right to be neither and gives a bunch of girls abortions because they would otherwise be forced to sell their babies for lunch meat and bread. Everyone is really, really poor - I forgot to mention that. Anyway, Vera is eventually discovered by the secret thought-police and forced to do soft porn movies in an all-female prison.

I give this movie a C+ because it is easily THE FASTEST MOVIE EVER. You press play on the VCR and then BAM! it's time to rewind already. I learned several things from this movie including how to syphon gasoline out of a woman's belly and how not to talk about anything. I would recommend this movie for families and church groups.