Review of Venom (2018) by Kurt M — 04 Oct 2018

The second screen iteration of my favorite Spider-Man villain , after the travesty that was 2007's Spider Man 3 gives us a movie that honestly should have been made 10 years ago - that's how bad this movie is. It would have fit in perfectly in this old cinematic world of Spidey where campy as fuck action and lines was acceptable and the norm.

Frankly, I'm amazed at how a turd like this could get made - (shout out to the movies trailer for putting that word back into my vocabulary) - especially considering we live in a time of great comic book movies.

Tom Hardy is easily the best part of this, as his often scared and apologetic demeanor after bonding with Venom and being completely taken off guard by the powers he now possesses is funny and both exhilarating. Problem is, is that it really only makes up for .... a third of the movie.

The supporting cast is heartbreaking, as Oscar WINNER Michelle Williams and Riz.

Ahmed are given a BRUTAL SCRIPT, full of corny as hell, unfunny one liners that try so hard to be funny that you could hear eyes rolling after they were delivered. Like these are two A List actors, three including Tom Hardy who I think is one of the best actors working today, and watching them try to salvage this movie is soul crushing.

Someone said to me the other day "Do you watch porn for the plot, or those big ass symbiote titties".... And hey, I wish those and the action could have saved this movie. But unfortunately, when all was said and done, this hour and 40 minutes was painful.

Symbiote titties aside, here's to hoping the sequel actually tries harder & hoping you go spend your money on First Man, A Star Is Born, Bad Times at the El Royale ... or FUCK , even Goosebumps 2 this weekend. Just not on this.

Grade : C -.