Review of Vanilla Sky (2001) by Tyler M — 31 Mar 2012

Excuse me, I'm blowing your mind... Ummm... No... You're really not.

New aged, pretentious, poorly acted, art-house wanna-be, poorly written... Things that describe this film...

The Story: After a car accident with a jealous lover, a wealthy magazine publisher finds difficulty in distinguishing what's real and what isn't...

WARNING: RANTING, RAVING, AND POSSIBLE SPOILERS AHEAD.

Oh, where to start, and how to start... Well how about the beginning?... It starts out as something with some real potential, right off the bat you're treated to a taste of the surreal world that Cameron Crowe is going to attempt to create for you... But after about 3 minutes into it, you realize that you're in for some really bad acting and a really bad film. This is often classified as an "erotic thriller", I have no problem with erotic thrillers so long as they're done tastefully, and this one was done fairly tastefully there wasn't any crude sex scenes... But maybe part of what makes it so fairly tasteful is the fact that this is not an erotic thriller... It's hardly erotic, it's hardly thrilling... At least give the audience one of the two things you're going for!

This film is meant to be somewhat of a character study, meant to be character driven, meant to see what makes these people tick. And for the most part it does achieve that, you find out what makes the characters tick... Well what makes some of the characters tick. The only character that ever feels complete is Tom Cruise as David Aames, and even then there's hardly a connection to be felt with him. I honestly didn't care what the hell happened to him, I didn't like him, I didn't not like him, I didn't want him to be okay, but I didn't really care if he was... I'd say about 60% of this problem could be from a poorly written script... The other 40% could be blamed on bad acting, but I'll get to that soon enough.

It's stylish, I'll give it that much, but it's style almost feels like it's trying to be trendy, it's not flashy enough to say "Hey! We're trying something completely different!", but it doesn't quite say "Blah blah blah"... Instead it finds itself a middle ground that says "Watch me! All the cool kids are!".

Add to this odd style a licensed soundtrack... Before I go any further, I just want to re-state what a lot of people already know, nine times out of ten I hate licensed music in movies. If it's not put to good use I firmly believe scores should be original... So with that said, this film has a terrible licensed soundtrack! Or at least makes terrible use of licensed music. With enough trendy underground music to make anyone with a "different" happy you're in for a real treat. If you're the kind of person that gets excited when they here Radiohead on the radio or see them on TV than you're the type of person that will enjoy watching this just because it features all your favorite bands.

And along with this music selection we have, and this is what some might consider a SPOILER, an ending that forces you to think exactly as the writer! There's no room for free interpretation here, the film explains everything that you've seen in great detail. Meaning, you're pretty much force fed the meaning of the whole thing! You can't sit back after this is done and say, "I think they were going for this" or "I think these characters meant that", because the writer obviously doesn't want you to have any thoughts of your own... This takes me right back to the music selection, the music isn't there so much to convey a mood or feeling, so much as it is to tell you what to think! I mean really is there anything more blunt than Tom Cruise sing "what if God was one of us!"?

As for script, this thing sounds like a new aged piece of garbage with lines like "Excuse me, I'm blowing your mind" or "This is a revolution of the mind". And trying to coin the phrase "pleasure delayer"... And for the record, Tom Cruise crying out for tech support, does NOT sound dramatic, it just sounds laughable and goofy.

Okay, I'm sure I forgot some of what really torqued me off with this film, but I'm going to let it all go, since this is already way too long...

The Cast: Tom Cruise, Penélope Cruz, Cameron Diaz, Kurt Russell... I'm going to keep this short... These actors and actresses all have serious talent... I just fail to see it in this film. Tom Cruise sounds like he doesn't really know how to act. Penelope Cruz sounds like she's trying to be too artsy. Cameron Diaz sounds... Actually she makes a pretty good trampy character, she did good... And last but not least, Kurt Russell sounds like a robot. He sounds like his lines are so forced that he can't even stand to recite them properly... Everyone here sounds emotionless, and the only character you're even going to come close to feeling a connection with is Tom Cruise, and even then it's a pretty weak connection.

One to Five Scale: 1.

I almost gave it a 2 but I decided I'd rather sleep knowing I was honest and truthful... I know a lot of people that love this film, but for what reasons, I'm not sure... Probably for whatever I put up there in the review. If you want to know what the big deal about this film is go ahead and give it a rental... Just don't get your hopes up... At all.

And this film was nominated for an Oscar for "Best Original Song" performed by Paul McCartney. I'm not quite sure where this song comes in at, but it must be there somewhere... Maybe they stuck it in the credits...

Tyler.