Review of Van Helsing (2004) by Bsh N — 26 Feb 2013

Directed by: Stephen Sommers.

CAST:

Hugh Jackman.

Kate Beckinsale.

Richard Roxbourgh.

David Wenham.

Kevin O'Connor.

No aspect of the plot is worthy of analysis. Van Helsing was in great part a feature-length advertisement for a Play Station game of the same name, so that shooting flying girl-vampires is intentionally designed to look like a video game sequence rather than like an event in an actual adventure.

The "Order" in Vatican City sends the famous monster slayer, Van Helsing to Transylvania to protect a family from the evil clutches of Count Dracula. Accompanying him is the "Order's" genius weapon creator, Carl. Velkan and Anna Velarious, brother and sister, are the last of the Velarious family. Once the last descendant of their family is dead, Count can rule the world. Velkan is killed by a werewolf sent by the Count shortly before Van Helsing arrives.

Van Helsing and Carl arrives at the village to an unwelcome reception. They meet Anna who refuses their help. Within minutes of meeting, Count's three vampire brides attack the village in an attempt to kill Anna. Van Helsing kills one of the brides, Marishka, and the other two Aleera and Verona retreat. Anna reluctantly accepts Van Helsing's services.

Later that night, Anna's dead brother, Velkan returns from the dead as a werewolf and under the power of Dracula. Velkan appears before Anna as a human and then transforms into the beast in an attempt to kill her. Van Helsing steps in and battles her werewolf brother. Anna stops Van Helsing before he is about to kill Velkan. She tells him that there might be a way to save him. They have three days to find the cure that Dracula holds before Velkan is turned into a werewolf forever.

Van and Anna travel to the Dracula's castle and discover thousands of eggs which they assume are Dracula's offspring. Using Frankenstein's formula for reanimation, Dracula brings his offspring to life. The gremlin looking vampire offspring attack the village in order to feed and become stronger. Unfortunately there's a missing piece to the formula as the gremlin bats die unexpectedly. Also in the castle, Dracula and Van confronts each other and the Count drops a "I know your history bomb" onto Van, who apparently doesn't know his secret past.

Van and Anna escape and flee to a destroyed wind mill, fall through some old, burnt wooden boards and find Frankenstein hiding in the dark. Frankenstein tells them that he holds the key to the formula's success. Over hearing the conversation is Dracula's werewolf spy, and he flees before Van can kill him. Disturbed by the sudden turn of events, Van promises Frankie protection from Dracula in Rome in order to keep the secret hidden and protected. Frankie agrees and the three of them venture back (and pick up Carl on the way) to Rome.

On the way, they get ambushed by Velkan the Werewolf and Dracula's remaining bitches (brides). The convoy crashes, Van gets bit by the werewolf and Anna gets captured by the vampire bride, Verona or Aleera. One of the hot ones. Actually it's Aleera, Verona dies in the incident. How dare they kill her?! (Silvia Colloca: Verona; pictured left) Once in Rome, Aleera offers Van an exchange, Anna for Frankie. Van agrees, only if it's done in public. Of course Count sets up a trap, eventually getting his hands on Frankie.

Now Van must confront Dracula to free Frankie, and possibly obtain the secret werewolf cure Dracula holds. Because only a werewolf can beat Dracula. So as a backup plan, Count always has a vial of werewolf cure just in case things get a little hairy. Eventually Van turns to a wolf and dukes it out with Count while Anna battles Aleera, and Carl battles Igor.

It's great seeing all the favorite legendary monster on the big screen with each other. For some reason, history always suggests that Frankie is a good guy out of the bunch. Turn him evil! That would be much funner. Dracula portrays the ultimate bad guy, and wolf man is just a pawn bitch. Dr. Jeckyll/Mr. Hyde was a little bit over the top fake CGI-ish. It kinda rubbed me the wrong way.

The end of the movie was a little disappointing. It became a little too CGI heavy with the final battle between Count and Van. The battle was like watching a video game in the movie theater. There was just a "real life" element missing to the end. Too much CGI!

Hugh Jackman playing Van Helsing...yeah, I couldn't see it. Maybe it's because I only see him as Wolverine now. I'm sorry, I've "type-casted" him. He's now the Luke Skywalker of the X-men series. Sorry Hugh! The best character in the movie happened to be Carl, Van's side kick. He was played by David Wenham, better known as Faramir from Lord of the Rings. He was a pretty like able, funny character. He was a monk...I mean Fryer, as he would put it, that was the "Order's" weapon genius.