Review of Vamps (2012) by Tony N — 26 Oct 2012

If Stephanie Meyers can turn bloodthirsty, terror-inducing night monsters into mopey, self-obsessed 15 year olds, then why shouldn't Amy Heckerling portray them as support-group-attending Soccer moms? If you thought that the emasculation of the undead had reached its nadir on the Northwest coast, then say hello to Vamps.

Cher's grown teeth and rented an NY pad in order to spend 90 minutes doing not much. Actually it's so that the director can grow nostalgic and deliver an obviously heart-felt message about the futility of the middle-aged (or older) trying to feign youthfulness.

It's got a cast that's way too over-qualified for such lightweight material, and whilst it's always fun to see Wallace Shawn in action, you've got to wonder what the hell Sigourney Weaver was thinking. Someone should have explained to her (and Justin Kirk) that the over-large CGI dentiage was for terrorising the mortals, and not munching the scenery.

This is nothing more than a Sunday-afternoon-whilst-doing-the-ironing diversion, so don't even think of paying money to see it.

I give it a two Margaret.