Review of Vampires Suck (2010) by Deb S — 15 Jun 2011

This is a spoof of the Twilight series based on the novels by Stephenie Meyer with a story line that is a fairly faithful retelling of the Twilight saga to date.

Plot: When Becca moves back to Sporks with her over-protective dad, she is immediately an outcast but soon find that her awkward, frigid and depressing demeanor is attractive to the hottest vampire in the school, Edward Sullen. They fall in love only to discover that their tragic romance might lead to Becca being killed. Edward breaks up with her leaving her in the dangers to other vampires who look a lot like the "Black Eyed Peas" who vow to kill her. Her only friend, Jacob, who is obviously becoming a werewolf is there to protect her and constantly pursue her. But when Edward thinks that she's dead, he feels he can no longer go on as well so he tries to kill himself. But Becca finds out and must stop Edward before it's too late for him to come back into the star crossed romance. Will the three angst ridden teenagers try to find true love and overcome all obstacles?

Jenn Proske as Becca Crane captures the nuances of Kristen Stewart as Bella Swan. She's got all the tics and mannerisms down cold. She's sounded almost exactly like her, always clutching her sweater's overlong sleeves, smoothing her hair behind her ear, dropping her eyes as she talks to people, biting her lower lip, and generally moping and mooning about while Matt Lanter really plays up the comical aspects of Edward. Chris Riggi played Jacob, had perfect six abs and it was hilarious when he turns into a little Chihuahua. Besides them we get to see jokes about teen angst, cheesy teen romance movies, Lady Gaga, Alice, Buffy, Jersey Shore and, Tiger Woods, Taylor Lautner, Taylor Swift, The Black eyed Peas etc.