Review of Vampire Academy (2014) by Steven B — 14 Feb 2014

Well look, I thought this might be a great nostalgic moment if The Old Geezers Who Go To The Matinee Alone showed up and made rude comments like we did from the balcony (Yes, I said 'balcony') when we were in High School; it is that kind of movie, a High School 'popular' kids picking on the nerds only they are all vampires.

But no-one else showed up, I mean NO-ONE! I was all alone and thus my rude comments were sort of empty, or hollow. . .there was an echo. There seem to be three types of vampires, the 'popular' kids are sort of vampires and they are protected by hybrid vampire/human kids (the nerds?) and the 'real' vampires who, for unknown reasons, want to kill them both.

If you are confused, welcome to the club. They are all muscular and pretty hot and spend a lot of time being teenager practising the Martial Arts because that seems to be their main defense. Oh! some of the 'popular' vampires are also magic or something and they seem to worship a Saint Vladimir or something.

If it had been Saturday night and if there were a balcony it would have been a hoot. The sex and violence are pretty PG so don't go for that. A mindless, but mostly harmless movie, so go if you don't have anything else to do.

. .and feel free to make rude comments.