Review of Vampire Academy (2014) by Trina B — 21 May 2014

Vampire Academy now on DVD for those suffering Twilight withdrawals.

In a Nutshell: Juno meets Harry Potter meets Twilight meets Mean Girls meets terrible movie. It could have been fun if it were designed to be a spoof. Alas, brothers Daniel and Mark Waters have created crass characters with lots of hormones and little class. It could be considered a guilty pleasure if you're a teenager girl who has read the book and can't get enough of vampire flicks.

Uplifting theme: In the words of (NO spoiler alert): "Blood is what connects us all. Blood is sustenance. Blood is family. Blood is pain and blood is death.".

Things I liked:

Ummm...

Things I didn't like:

Snarky dialogue that tried too hard to be cool.

Monologuing villains.

The ending leaves an opening for a sequel. Please, no!

Funny lines:

"Stopping is for losers." - Rose.

"A female, especially one who lives off of blood and magic, is going to have her mood swings." - Rose.

"They say Dimitri is a God. Well, I'm an Atheist...an atheist with a big gun." = Spiridion.

"Please don't say Vampire Academy. You know how I feel about the V word." - Lissa Dragomire.

"Weird doesn't begin to cover it." - Rose.

"Stop staring at each other all gooey-like." - Rose.

"There's a fine line between concerned and stalker." - Rose.

Tips for parents: Lots of sassy words on the verge of profanity, inappropriate topics for young kids, pre-marital relations, talk of losing virginity, blood, violence. Maybe the books are better?