Review of Valley Girl (1983) by Kris W — 05 Dec 2010

"When punk meets prom the fun begins!" [Video Australia].

"She's cool. He's hot. She's from the Valley. He's not.".

"Life in the Valley: Hair, clothes... and attitude.".

3rd best 80's teen comedy, behind Fast Times and 16 Candles....

This is the first movie in which Nicolas Coppola is billed as Nicolas Cage.

New wave band The Plimsouls are the band playing in the club that Randy takes Julie to, and Josie Cotton performs at the prom.

Director Martha Coolidge was required by the film's producers to show female breasts at least four times. They felt it would make the movie more appealing to younger males.

Deborah Foreman and Michelle Meyrink played friends in the movie. They were also both in Real Genius (1985).

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------.

Randy: No one is gonna tell me who I can score with! Now I want this chick, she wants me, so fuck it, we're goin' back.

Randy: That techno-rock you guys listen to is gutless.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------.

Julie Richman: Do you think she really does all the stuff she says?

Stacey: I mean, who could make up 'That stuff tastes like Clorox.'?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------.

Fred Bailey: So, you wanna dance?

Girl: In another life!

Fred Bailey: Yeah, I didn't either. I was just taking a poll.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------.

Randy: Where do you work?

Julie Richman: At my parents' store.

Randy: What do they sell?

Julie Richman: Health foods.

Randy: That's cool.

Julie Richman: Like, it's not cool at all! Like, it's all this stuff that tastes like nothing and it's supposed to be so good for you. Why couldn't they, like, open a Pizza Hut or something?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------.

Julie Richman: I'll start my diet tomorrow.

Stacey: You better watch out, because Randy might like the Hollywood lean look.

Suzi Brent: Yeah, but blimps don't get to go out with Tommy.

Julie Richman: Who?

Stacey: Tommy.

Julie Richman: Who?

Loryn, Stacey, and Suzi: [in unison] TOMMY!

Julie Richman: Fuck him!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------.

[behind the stage curtain at the Valley High junior prom].

Fred Bailey: Ahh! Stacey! Hey, man, check out Stacey!

Randy: I don't wanna see Stacey.

[peeks from behind the curtain in time to see Tommy kiss Julie on the dance floor].

Randy: Ugh! That's it! Man, I've had it with you, Bailey!

Fred Bailey: What? I didn't think her haircut was that bad.

Randy: What do you mean, her haircut? I just want to know what the rest of this grand plan of yours is.

Fred Bailey: No, man, this is it! Simplicity at its finest.

Randy: Simplicity at its finest. Well, at least you got us here. So let's...

Randy and Fred (in unison): ...crush that fly!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------.

Randy: [to Julie after she dumps him] Well fuck you, for sure, like totally!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------.

Tommy: It appears as though you forgot our French fries and a coke, fishhead.

Randy: Oh, well, Peter Piper picked a pepper, I guess I did!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------.

Julie Richman: [to her friends] Man, he's like tripendicular, ya know?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------.

Julie Richman: Like they're staring right at us.

Stacey: Gross! Let's move.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------.

Fred Bailey: Do you believe a girl should pet on the first date?

Girl: Who are you... Bozo the Clown?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------.

Steve Richman: [about Julie] Sarah, do you know how much she looks like you?

Sarah Richman: Do I still look that way?

Steve Richman: Better!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------.

Randy: [shouting over the noise just as the music ends] So, when can I see you again?

Julie Richman: [embarassed] Gee, Randy... why don't you wait until the end of the evening to say these things?

Randy: It's how I feel.

Julie Richman: I'm here with you now.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------.

Fred Bailey: [warily surveying party food] What you got running here, a bait shop?

Suzi Brent: Like, it's sushi, don't you know?

[points at each platter as she identifies them].

Suzi Brent: Like, this here is tuna, that's flying fish egg, and that's sea urchin.

Randy: This is pistachio paste, isn't it?

[picks up a smear of wasabi with a chopstick and eats it; he then watches party guests enjoying the sushi].

Randy: Dig in, Fred.

Fred Bailey: [shudders] I think I'll go get something to drink.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------.

Fred Bailey: [introducing himself to Julie and Stacey] Hi, I'm Fred. I like tacos and '71 Cabernet. My favorite color is magenta.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------.

Tommy: [about his recent break-up with Julie] Who else is there? No other Val dude can touch me. She must really be freaking out.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------.

Julie Richman: Yeah, but Tommy can be such a dork, ya know? Like he's got the bod, but his brains are bad news.

Suzi Brent: But he is bitchin'. You really are so lucky, Julie.

Julie Richman: I know, but we've been going together so long now. Like I'm beginning to think I'm a piece of furniture or something... like an old chair!

Loryn: Oh, bad news!

Julie Richman: [glancing at Brad] I definitely need something new.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------.

Julie Richman: [arguing about staying out all night] Why can't you just punish me like Stacey's parents?

Sarah Richman: Bad karma, dear!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------.

Stacey: Fred?

Fred Bailey: Stacey?

Stacey: God you're so weird go away!

Fred Bailey: My little pickle. My darling.

Stacey: Like this is so embarrassing.

Fred Bailey: Well I think you're cute.

Stacey: My God.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------.

Tommy: [while getting his ticket torn by Randy, who is working as an usher and wearing 3D glasses] Bitchin'! Is this in 3D?

Randy: No, but you're face is.