Review of Valhalla Rising (2009) by Marco A — 01 Dec 2011

Not one of these again. This movie is a like a hyper-violent version of The New World, shot through a cheap filter and using terrible, fake CG blood. Meaning it's mostly silent and static, lingering on grimy faces staring who knows where.

For a while the mood holds, and you can get a lot of thinking done while the characters aren't speaking (the main character says no words and the entire script must be about a page long) but eventually it gives way to tedium and the movie is not that long.

I could construct a meaning for this plotless drudgery but it would be almost pure arbitration as few real clues can be found. An unpleasant experience at best.