Review of Valhalla Rising (2009) by Threeayem — 19 Mar 2013
Valhalla Rising is Nicolas Winding Refn masturbating with the atmosphere and overall feel of a Criterion Edition B&W like The Seventh Seal in an exercise of total self-importance. One can argue that it has symbolism and whatever else failed screenwriters and directors teach in Intro to Filmmaking workshops, but it all becomes moot when the film has the pace of a spoonful of maple syrup running down your cabinet doors.
I ended up asking my TV when something was going to happen, and that is not something that happens often. Once I asked that, though, Native Americans beat the main character to death and the credits started rolling.
Good timing.
This review of Valhalla Rising (2009) was written by Threeayem on 19 Mar 2013.
Valhalla Rising has generally received mixed reviews.
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