Review of Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017) by Joshua S — 25 Aug 2017

People are fucking liars. I can't be the only person who rolls their eyes when people say that Hollywood doesn't make original science fiction or fantasy anymore. While the statement is mostly true there is something misleading about it. The very same audiences who make this statement are the same idiots that ignore original sci-fi when it actually does make it to the big screen. And the studios have figured it out. They look at box office receipts, not the most thumbed up comments on Facebook or some loser's movie blog. And that my friends is why we will soon have a Transformers 8 but probably never get a Dredd 2. And it's YOUR fault.

Self-righteous preaching aside, let's review this damn movie. Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets is a beautiful and enchanting sci-fi action movie filmed with Luc Besson's signature manic style, but suffers from a scattershot plot and lack of focus that causes the narrative of the movie to come crashing down as it nears the finale. The plot mostly revolves around two human government agents who are sent to investigate an incident on board a floating space station called Alpha, which is... a city of a thousand planets. This investigation uncovers a conspiracy involving indigenous aliens and government coverups and yeah, we've seen this song and dance before. But what makes Valerian stand out is the worldbuilding and colorful characters that we meet along the way. The main plot thread will often stop cold to allow the audience to see the strange, alien cultures on the station and the different environments they inhabit. As the main plot isn't that unique, this is not a killer flaw, but an annoying one for many. Valerian is loosely based on a comic book series that strongly influenced Luc Besson's work before, most notably resulting in a little movie called The Fifth Element. That same bright-colored and frantic French comic book style informs this movie, and this is probably the reason why Valerian was billed as a spiritual successor to The Fifth Element. Though truth be told Valerian is markedly inferior, as it lacks Element's strong narrative, quotability, and the presence of a half-naked Milla Jovovich.

Dane DeHaan and Cara Delevingne play the main leads. DeHaan does a decent job as a leading action man and Delevingne nearly steals the show with her wit and no-nonsense approach to life. Much of the movie hinges on a "will they or won't they" old school romance and because of their considerable chemistry, it mostly works. Rhianna makes a glorified cameo and her character was so interesting I must admit I wished there was more of her on screen. Clive Owen has a turn as General Asshole whose job it is to be an asshole. Go figure. The action leans a bit on the familiar, but the aesthetic flourish helps smooth that over. While there has been a lot of talk of "style over substance" this summer, Valerian is a case where the style is so notable, that it approaches substance. Almost. Valerian comes close to being the kind of movie that audiences say they want but in reality, ignore or even ridicule without seeing it. It is by no means perfect - this picture's story and focus is EVERYWHERE. But it deserved a fair day in court, which it unfortunately did not receive. There is the possibility that Valerian could become a cult classic akin to The Fifth Element, but that is always a hard thing to gauge. One could hope.