Review of Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017) by Spangle — 24 Jul 2017

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets is a film that Luc Besson is the perfect man to bring forth to cinemas everywhere. An imaginative filmmaker, as demonstrated with The Fifth Element, the source material's imagination is renowned due to how it influenced the decades of science fiction films and universes that came in its wake. Set in the 28th Century, Valerian introduces the audience to the world as it is at the time. At the height of inter-species relations, the world has come together to create a floating city called, "Alpha". Playing host to species from every corner of the world in order to have all of them share knowledge with one another, it should come as no surprise that Alpha will also play host to a cover-up. Dreaming of an unknown species that relies upon the power found within a special pearl, Agent Valerian (Dane DeHaan) comes to realize that this species did once exist and is now subject to a cover-up hiding their destruction and existence from records. With the help of partner Agent Laureline (Cara Delevingne), it is up to the duo to reveal the secrets that lie within the heart of the Alpha ecosystem.

Unfortunately, Valerian is a film that greatly disappoints. Despite the strong pairing of director and material, as well as a largely strong casting job, the film winds up slipping up continuously. By the end, it is clear that one thing is true: the film would have been a lot better if it were not serious. Playing too often like a great satire on society by Paul Verhoeven, Valerian is instead Luc Besson making a film with dialogue and plotting so bad, it just has to be a satire. Unfortunately, it is not satire. Far too many lines elicit unintentional laughter. A saccharine explanation from Laureline to Valerian on what it means to love somebody is met by DeHaan uttering out, "I'd die for you." At the end of the film, when Valerian gives Laureline a ring, she says, "That's so romantic." One can argue that Valerian is a bit ahead of its time and will eventually find its audience, but lines such as these will never work. Future praise will have to note the way in which the film's dialogue slacks throughout or else that praise can be easily written off.

The film's dialogue and writing is the type that really leaves nothing to chance. Having characters explain their emotions and every feeling - especially in the dreadfully developed romance between Valerian and Laureline - the film trusts the audience to do very little in the way of thinking. Instead, it opts to spell out every detail to you, even if it is entirely frivolous. Often times, characters pop up and either explain their role to the audience or somebody else will have dialogue dedicated solely to explaining who they are and what that person will do in the story. Exposition-heavy lines regarding the world of Alpha, how everybody comes to share knowledge there, and the various groups found in the city, are not just forced, but horrifically written. Are we really to assume that two federal agents tasked with impossible missions have no idea who lives on Alpha? It is the center of their universe, yet they have no clue what happens there and need to have it explained to them? Hard to believe, at best. Thus, Besson needs to sprinkle it in the film in various doses. From flat-out having the computer explain it all to characters randomly dropping information about how the world works into an otherwise typical conversation, Valerian takes various approaches to teaching the audience about the world of Alpha. Unfortunately, none of it is useful - literally zero of the characters it introduces and explains pop up in the story - and all of it is heavy-handed anyways. For Valerian, it shortcuts world building by way of exposition. This has the unfortunate side effect of making it feel as though the world of Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets is not one worth exploring any further.

The way in which the romance between Valerian and Laureline, any character building moments, or side conversations, are written is really where Valerian plays like a satire. Written in such a way that the romance is the type of teenage angst that Nicholas Sparks would churn out to rave reviews among tween girls romanticizing about their first boyfriend, the romance never ceases to be awkward. Ignoring the complete and utter lack of romantic chemistry between Dane DeHaan and Cara Delevingne, the scenes never work anyways. The filmmakers know what love looks like, so they included scenes that play out these moments. Playful, hurtful, and passionate, the scenes and the way in which they are staged often hint at the skeletal remains of love. Unfortunately, as with any bare bones rendition, it lacks any beating heart or emotion. DeHaan and Delevingne not only fail to sell the romance, but Besson's script fails to instill it with any feeling. It is written to be acted out, so who can truly blame the actors for not being able to bring the dead back to life.