Review of Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017) by Daniel A — 17 Sep 2017

'Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets' is easily one of the worst sci-fi films i've seen to date. Yes even worse than the Star Wars prequels. Okay maybe not the worst but defiantly up there. The plot to 'Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets' is, based on the ground-breaking comic book series which inspired a generation of artists, writers and filmmakers. In the 28th century, Valerian and Laureline are a team of special operatives charged with maintaining order throughout the human territories. Under assignment from the Minister of Defence, the two embark on a mission to the astonishing city of Alpha-an ever-expanding metropolis where species from all over the universe have converged over centuries to share knowledge, intelligence and cultures with each other. There is a mystery at the centre of Alpha, a dark force which threatens the peaceful existence of the City of a Thousand Planets, and Valerian and Laureline must race to identify the marauding menace and safeguard not just Alpha, but the future of the universe.

I remember at comic con last year when Luc Besson was trashing Christopher Nolan's film 'Dunkirk' opening the same weekend as 'Valerian' and now that i've seen the film Luc Besson has become a laughing stock in my opinion. The Directing by 'Luc Besson' wasn't that spectacular as it has been in his previous film including 'Lucy' and 'The Fifth Element' It just all felt extremely chopping and fake and he certainly didn't live up to the hype of his fans. The Screenwriting also by 'Luc Besson' I found to be extremely tedious and slow with way to much forced humour put into it. The world building was written so poorly and basically super unnecessary for what little he wrote and the dialogue was super annoying and tedius. But nothing can be as bad as the acting in this film by the 2 lead actors 'Cara Delevingne' and 'Dane DeHaan'. The both of them had no chemistry together and their acting both felt like they where trying way to hard but also didn't want to be their. It really wasn't a pleasure to watch on screen. Which brings me onto the characters which are, you guessed it, extremely poorly written and overwhelmingly annoying. And it's not just the actors fault either. All the characters had literally no character development and were very 2 dimensional.

With an absurd budget of $177 Million, you'd expect top notch visual effects. But thats not what you get here. While some effects are used well and work with what the director was going for. Others just look plain slopping and extremely noticeable and unbelievable. The only redeeming quality of this film is the extremely hip and well used score/soundtrack. I'm not saying you'd listen to any of this just for fun, but it certainly does work fantastically with the film. But don't even get me started on the pacing. The pacing is one of the biggest issues of this film and certainly works against its favour. There are literally no action sequences in this film with the exception of one or two small thrills. You will be sitting there ripping your eyes out in boredom waiting for something to happen and yet it never comes.

Overall 'Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets' really has no redeeming qualities from its shocking messy directing and screen writing. Unbelievably bad acting, annoying as shit characters who's development never sees the light of day. Overrated and sloppy visual effects and a snail pace slow story. Although it does have a quite nice and hip score that goes well with the film. I give 2017's 'Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets' a 1.5/10.