Review of Valentine's Day (2010) by Chads. — 12 Feb 2010

Anne Hathaway, one of the many, many, MANY stars in "Valentine's Day", plays a secretary at a sports PR firm named Liz, who earns extra money as a phone sex operator, for no other apparent reason but to honor the Robert Altman, whose "Short Cuts", a superior multi-narrative movie, was also set in Los Angeles.

Played for laughs, Liz conducts her sexy business in the open, talking dirty to her clients within earshot of passing strangers on the sidewalk. No sane woman would subject herself to such scrutiny, and the joke falls flat.

Then again, nor would a sane woman fake an orgasm in a restaurant like Meg Ryan did in Rob Reiner's "When Harry Met Sally", which informs Liz's uninhibited sexualized behavior. Hathaway's scene also comes complete with an observer's punchline that, unfortunately, falls woefully short of, "I'll have what she's having," the line famously delivered by Rob Reiner's mother.

Since "Valentine's Day" doesn't take place in the real world, Liz's boss(played by Queen Latifah) simply laughs off Liz's sideline job when she catches her in the act on company time.

In "Short Cuts", the phone-sex operator tends to her baby's diaper while she gets her client off, sounding bored and distracted, looking about as sexy as a barfly. The scene is funny because its grounded in reality.

Hathaway's character, meanwhile, seems too intelligent and grounded for such unladylike behavior, so her actions seem movie-driven, therefore contrived, which isn't at all surprising, since she doesn't have Raymond Carver as her architect, but rather, a screenwriter with a Nora Ephron-like sensibility.

If "Valentine's Day" is meant to be a love letter to the late maverick, the letter could stand a little revising. For instance, Jason(Topher Grace), who works in the mailroom at the same PR firm, shouldn't be such a prude about Liz's second job.

It's just not Altmanesque. Try imagining him in Matthew Modine's place when he talks to a half-dressed Julianne Moore.