Review of Unfriended: Dark Web (2018) by Hector V — 22 Aug 2018

Blumhouse Productions released a great film earlier this summer in the cyberpunk action-thriller Upgrade, so it's only natural it has to weigh out that one piece of goodness with several mediocre movies to compensate. Alongside The First Purge, Unfriended: Dark Web is more edgy, light horror fare that probably fulfills for its teenage demographic, but mostly amounts to a resounding "whatever.".

It takes forty minutes-nearly half of the movie's runtime, I was counting-for the spooky deep web shenanigans to start happening. In the meantime, the film introduces its bland cast of stock characters and a romance subplot that's kind of important to the story but just as boring as its very "meh" twenty or thirty-something leads.

No one is particularly likeable or hateable, but not compelling enough to care for, either. It's almost comical how shamelessly the film panders for its characters' appeal; our hero, Matias, is a normal, handsome dude with a deaf girlfriend he's literally and figuratively having trouble communicating with. Serena (Rebecca Rittenhouse) and Nari (Betty Gabriel) are a recently engaged lesbian couple, and while one of them has a loving mother hospitalized for cancer, the other has a family that's not as accepting of their relationship. And of course, it's also got a paranoid internet goofster, a tech-savvy British guy, and an expendable minority character-uniquely Asian and female, this time.

Rather than setting up better drama out of its diversity check-boxed cast, the film only hints at interesting character conflicts. Some good suspense could have been set up by making the characters tear each other apart, but everyone remains amicable despite some really dumb decisions taken by several characters. Whatever conflict arises does come results from poorly written moments as the plot demands them. Hey, it's at least ironically funny to experience.

Once the plot kicks in, Dark Web actually becomes a pretty engaging watch. Some genuine thrills arise once the big bads rear their heads, and for a good period of the time, it's hard to tell where the story will go next-until the ridiculous ending, that is. And sadly, the film is also hard to take seriously with the excessive amount of overdone special effects static and the silly computer interface that comprises the film's visual field.

It's got a hackneyed resolution and setup, cookie-cutter characters acting stupidly for the convenience of the plot, and is all around not very good, but Unfriended: Dark Web is watchable, at least semi-engaging schlock.