Review of Ultraviolet (2006) by Blæke W — 12 Jul 2011

So I was going to do a music review today, but I just saw a movie so bad that I need to rant about it. Ultraviolet is a bad bad, horribly awful movie that thinks it's awesome. I can't even begin to explain how bad this piece of cinematic garbage is, but I'll try just for you.

My biggest grip were the god awful "special effects", I mean the original Star Wars came out in 1977 and that still looks good. This looks like they wanted way more CGI then they had budget for, miniatures would have looked a thousand times better then the 3-D garbage mound buildings that they had in this one zoom in shot that they used three separate times throughout the movie.

This is an actual scene from the movie.

It's not that I hate movies with bad effects, it doesn't bother me when I see a flying saucer on a string in a 1930?s sci-fi movie because that's the best they could do back then. But this shit fest came out in 2006, Superman, Pirates of the Caribbean, X-Men Last Stand all came out in the same year and looked great. If they didn't have a CGI budget then they should have used fucking any other of the million film making techniques that we had before CGI. I mean this shit was worse the a video game cut scene.

Other then that the story sucked my balls, I've seen the same shit in thousands other movies, and it looked better too. Acting sucked, Cameron Bright being king shit on shit mountain. It's like he taught the rest of the cast how to act and they just barely surpassed him. Don't even get me started on the directing, have I mentioned that there are a number of potentially cool fight scenes that just cut to black and all you can do is listen to it. Even the final climatic fight takes place in mostly darkness with retardedly impossible flaming swords being the only source of light.

Redeeming parts of this movie? Well Klaus Badelt did a pretty good job on the score. It is for him that I give this a 2 out of 10. Thanks Klaus.