Review of Turistas (2006) by Alex B — 18 Oct 2010

Not only is paradise lost in this abysmal, alleged horror, offering but character, drama, plot and tension seem to have gone missing too.

Melissa George and Josh Duhamel head up a bunch of care free backpackers whom after their tour bus goes down a cliff believe their prayers have been answered when they just happen to have crashed near to a lovely beach party/bar. Isn't life kind? No, of course it isn't. Pretty soon they're robbed, beaten, dragged through the jungle and subjected to all sorts of nastiness.

Paradise Lost fails on every single level because it has been very carelessly thrown together on the back of the success of films such as Saw and Hostel, the latter of which it borrows heavily from, which doesn't bode well to begin with.

The characters are not interesting and there is way too much time spent on just watching them lark about on the beach and walk through jungles, when we should be watching them run for their lives. The film keeps flicking to show the bad guy plotting his evil body part stealing scheme but his scariness is hampered by the fact that he is just a normal guy and kinda looks like Nick Knowles from DIY SOS.

Even for fans of the visceral nature of these films there is only one scene in which anything gruesome is really going on before we're back to more jungle walking and swimming. The obvious ones survive and the ones we care even less about don't.

Paradise Lost is predictable, sloppy, unco-ordinated and bereft of anything of merit. A severely bad movie indeed.