Review of True Romance (1993) by Ben L — 20 Nov 2014

There are 2 simple reasons that I didn't connect with True Romance and I have no interest in watching it again. The first of which is the lack of any likable characters. Even the "protagonists" of the film are kind of despicable, and so I am not invested in seeing them succeed. And what am I supposed to be rooting for them to do? Successfully murder a ton of people and sell a boatload of cocaine? I can deal with anti-heroes just fine, but there really isn't anything heroic about these people. They're just slightly less evil than the other drug dealers, hit-men, and pimps that surround them. I guess because there's a love story to open the film we are expected to see the virtue of the two leads, but it was a manufactured love story between a prostitute and a schizophrenic who speaks to Elvis, so that didn't really click with me.

The other big shortcoming I found in True Romance is the cast. "What?!", you may be thinking, "This is a star-studded cast!" You're right, and that's why I didn't give this movie a 1-star rating, because some of these scenes are spectacular thanks to the actors in them, but follow me for a moment: Guess who's a great actor...Samuel L. Jackson. Guess how many scenes he's in...1. Guess who else is a great actor...Gary Oldman. Guess how many scenes he's in...2. Guess who else is a great actor...Christopher Walken. Guess how many scenes he's in...1, so you get the idea. Now guess who are the worst actors in the movie...Christian Slater, Patricia Arquette, Bronson Pinchot, Michael Rapaport, and basically everyone else who is in 50% or more of the movie. I love so many of the talented actors and they absolutely nail the 1 or 2 scenes they are featured in, but even the finest Filet Mignon is going to be hard to enjoy if you're chasing each bite with a can of SPAM. It makes the film almost painful for me to watch. "Oh, man, I love this guy! Wait, did he seriously just die?!" True Romance is a heaping helping of potential that someone just crapped all over. I'd love to watch the handful of amazing scenes again in the future, as long as I can fast forward between them.