Review of Troll 2 (1990) by Sierra H — 14 Jun 2010

I would normally give this movie 1/2 a star, but since it's so bad that it's actually funny, I'll give it a 1.

Things I learned from Troll 2:

* If they're eating her, and the they're going to eat you, the best course of action is to scream, "Oh my godddddddddddddd!".

* There's nothing weird about food with "eat me" written on it in green frosting.

* When you reach for your belt to punish your son, you're actually planning on going on a hunger strike.

* When in Nilbog/Gaytown, protect your penis with a fire extinguisher.

* Bologna sandwiches can defeat an entire army of goblins.

* Always let a woman into your RV if she looks like a skank and wants to make out with an ear of corn.

* If Taylor Swift were to re-write her lyrics to fit with this movie, they would be "he wears short-shorts, I've got a moustache, I'm gonna rape him in my police car".

* Your grandpa will never die. EVER.

* Man + plant = mlant.

* If you want to protect your family from goblins, pee on everything.