Review of Troll (1986) by Robert H — 19 Jun 2009

I lost a non-refundable 90 minutes of my life watching this movie. Yet, somehow it was still captivating. Was it the fact that Noah Hathaway mysteriously disappeared after making only 3 or 4 projects in Hollywood, so I was attempting to soak in what little acting ability he graced us with during his extremely short prime? Or was it the fact that Jenny Beck, who played the little twit sister, was undeniably modeled after Heather O'Rourke's character of Carol Anne of the Poltergeist films? In fact, they could've pulled off being sisters. Apparently, she kick-started the whole troubled-family-girl image and put out Poltergeist II the same year as this one, which I would have ranked far above Troll.

June Allyson had a lot of potential to be a badass old lady going after the trolls, but was reduced to nattering hermit of a crazywoman surrounded by magical swords and spears (hmm, subtle) and befriended by a freaky mushroom creature that HAD to have been borrowed from the set of "Labyrinth", ALSO released that year in '86.

I don't think anyone took this movie seriously when they signed on, and decided to just have fun with all the special effects and the annoying behavior of Jenny Beck, who was very much like that kid in the nearby ghetto Walmart that you want to hit with your grocery cart as you walk by the child and the mom who chooses to ignore her.

Poor, poor Julia Louis-Dreyfus, she's soooo lucky to have escaped unscathed from this.