Review of TransSiberian (2008) by Blind P — 21 Jan 2009

In Transsiberian a young couple travels across Siberia, hence the title, by train, to meet up with another copuple who may or may not have some sinister plans. Inplausible choices lead to an ending, and the whole thing is passable but forgettable.

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21 tries to have Kevin Spacey carry the film about a counting card ring who seeks to outwit the pit bosses as they win their way to big bucks playing blackjack, but in the end it's all so trite that I didn't care about what any character's fate became. Some poorly drawn characters in supporting roles and a rather weak lead character drag it down.

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Hannibal Rising continues an expensive quest to prove that the character should have been finished with after Silence of the Lambs. Turns out he had some plainly Freudian reasons to become a dastardly cannibal. Ugh. Dull.

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Sex and the City is something I knew I should have never watched, being predictably a heavily contirved fashion magazine commercial and fluffy pap "we're friends" piece. I always thought Kristen Davis was sexy, but even she couldn't save this mess. It's like the TV show, so fans will likely be thrilled. For me, it's further proof of my masochism.

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Lastly, we have Speed Racer, a live action homage to a bad animation show that can be most simply defined as a video game movie, and we all know that genre always sucks ass. I saw some hype about interesting visuals, but they put me to sleep. Or perhaps I had a seizure and didn't know it. Either way...