Review of Transporter 2 (2005) by Clem666 — 01 Mar 2021

Hard to even imagine this movie is actually the continuation of 'Transporter' the first one since everything until the overall atmosphere changed. At the end of all this mess I even wondered if I truly watched 'Transporter 2' or another dumb action movie with Statham. In this 'Transporter' movie Statham doesn't transport anything else than a kiddo for something like 10 minutes. Wrong title for the wrong film.

The dialogues are really flat, dull and lame. The editing and special effects are terrible even if car crashed are quite realistic and enjoyable in overall. Stunts also look awesome when they are not totally unrealistic. Action scenes are over-cut. Music is effortless: pretty decent for such a movie I guess. The acting is dreadful from everybody especially the french cop (François Berléand). I speak french but I'm not French and I truly enjoyed the so-called racist jokes on French people.

The romance is boring and predictable. Some jokes remains funny and particularly those linked to the first movie. These are pretty easter eggs. Once again we are treated to a strange scene where Statham covers his body with oil or mud just like in the first opus. So what is this wierd fantasy of the directors with oiled bodies? It makes me way too uncomfortable. The fact that most of the fights are pointless or truly avoidable doesn't help at all. I mean if you are one of the bad guys and the nice dude doesn't stop messing with your plans just shoot him! I stop counting all the scenes where Statham is blocked but managed to escape just because bad guys don't shoot him. On the top of it this movie contains one the stupidest villain plans of all the films I've seen, making the main bad guy look dumb. All along the movie some major stereotypes are spread. To cite another of them than the unavoidable balls-kicking and nuts shots we could speak about the amazingly vulgar presence of the villain woman overly-sexualized. They don't even tried to explain her partial but constant and unavoidable nudity with the scenario. Speaking of the scenario: wow. In less than 20 minutes we have totally witnessed this movie have a seizure. There are inconsistencies and laughable events everywhere. It's almost a parody excepted that everyone takes it way too seriously.