Review of Transformers: The Last Knight (2017) by Phil N — 20 Dec 2017

Terrible, but so predictable in how awful it is that it's hard to really be offended by it.

Quick confession: I actually was very tempted to watch the film in IMAX 3D. Bay can shoot action as well as anyone, and I was curious about watching it in this format given that a majority of it was shot in IMAX 3D cameras.

While the final action sequence is indeed visually impressive, no chance in hell would have watching it in IMAX 3D have rescued this endeavor.

The movie is one long chase sequence filled with slow-motion collisions and explosions, stopped only temporarily long enough for feeble attempts at telling a story or poor, and I mean piss poor attempts at humor. Want a scene where it the two lead characters searching for Merlin's staff in an old study sounds like them having loud, angry sex? You've come to right place.

None of the story makes sense, none of the casting decisions make sense (we're supposed to buy focking Mark Walberg, supah cahp as an engineer from Texas and Laura Haddock as professor with supermodel looks). Oh and Stanley Tucci makes a cameo as Merlin despite playing another character in a previous film for absolutely no reason whatsoever.

But the worst, the absolute worst part of the film is how unnecessarily long it is. It's near 2.5 hours long, and is packed to the brim with unnecessary characters, chunks of dialogue with awful humor, and entire action sequences that do nothing but poison the film.

T:tLK is bloated, sloppy, and shockingly boring.