Review of Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011) by Anthony N — 28 Jul 2014

"Transformers: Dark of the Moon" (2011).

"Transformers: Dark of the Moon" is the third installment in Michael Bay's Transformers live action movie series with Steven Spielberg acting as the executive producer. The story of the film takes place three years after the events of the previous film "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen", with the Autobots, during their collaboration with the NEST (Nonbiological Extraterrestrial Species Treaty) military force, discovering a hidden alien technology in possession of humans, which had been found by Apollo 11 on the Moon 42 years earlier (yeah I know, it's fucking stupid). However, the Decepticons unveil a plan to use the technology to enslave humanity in order to restore Cybertron, the home planet of the Transformers. So basically, it's about a war between the Autobots and the Decepticons, which is the same thing as the first two movies.

The movie starts off once again with sound effects at the Paramount logo and Optimus Prime narrating the story, I bet it will be like this in the fourth movie. The hidden alien technology that traveled probably tens of thousands of years into space landed on the Moon of all places. I'm a huge astronomy puff and I can't even tell you what the chances of this happening are. It's basically the equivalent of shooting a basketball through a hoop on Earth all the way from Pluto without it touching the rims; extremely slim. Not to mention that the Autobots were living on the same planet many years after this happened. Why is it that the Autobots and Decepticons always fight on Earth, that is just way too many fucking coincidences. Not to mention, there is no crash site of an alien spacecraft on the Moon, something like this would never go unnoticed and avoid the public eye for so long.

Sam (played by Shia LaBeouf) returns and we see him cheating on his girlfriend Mikala. Turns out the two broke up in between films and that he has a new girlfriend. Yeah, they never broke up, the only reason this happened is because Megan Fox refused to do another Transformers movie because she knew they were getting worse with each new movie. Like the first two movies, they are trying to be as vulgar, violent and inappropriate as possible as long as the film retains the PG-13 rating. There's an f-bomb, old men stripping down to their underwear (why is this a theme in Transformers?), humans getting massacred, big dick innuendo jokes and even animal abuse. This isn't exactly appropriate for children and it features a shameful appearance by Republican bigot Bill O'Riley. Why are they giving this person attention? He's an idiot and doesn't deserve to be popular, not only that, do you honestly think anyone in Transformer's age demographics would even know who he is?

Like the first two movies, it features over the top acting and constant special effects scenes and tons of explosions, by then, it's gotten repetitive. I mean it was pretty cool in the first movie, but enough of it already. I like the Matrix as much as anyone, but I don't want to see people copy it in every action movie that gets released in the future. And there are so many actions scenes, that Sam escapes death way too many times. As I said in my previous reviews, he gets so lucky, it's like winning the Mega Million Lottery ten times in a row. I can't believe they made four movies like this with far more special effects than a good storyline or interesting characters. Sam's new girlfriend surprisingly is even less likeable than Megan Fox. Mikala was okay, but Sam's new girlfriend Carly Spencer (played by Rosie Huntington-Whiteley) has pretty much no personality and doesn't actually have many lines, she actually can't even defend herself which Mikala was able to do sort of.

It's a bad movie with a boring storyline, characters with no personality, over the top acting, and action scenes with amazing CGI effects that have gotten old and redundant. But the movie was a huge hit grossing well over a billion dollars in the box office so this movie series shows no signs of dying out.

FINAL RATING: 4 out of 10.