Review of Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014) by Skyrimguy935 — 03 Jan 2015

My opinion of this... "movie" has only deteriorated over time. The effects are actually WORSE than the previous installments, and the acting is also downright awful. I would give praise to Walberg and Tucci's performances, but they played characters so generic and cliché that it completely undermined their acting talent. In addition, there is an ABSURD amount of obnoxious product placement. It's almost as obnoxious as if you're watching a huge battle scene, and then one of the characters randomly turns to the camera, holds up a Bud Lite, and says some corny line ending in "Drink Bud Lite!" In fact, it actually almost does that in once scene. On to the dialog. It is so poorly written that I almost laughed at one point. Optimus is beating the crap out of the massive Dinobot Transformer who is supposedly Grimlock (even though he submits in under a minute) where Optimus yells out, "We're giving you freedom!" and then a few seconds later, when he has mounted Grimlock (Yes, mounted), he scrapes his sword against Grimlock's face saying, "Defend my family, or die." Being forced to do something doesn't quite sound like freedom to me. Speaking of, there are Dinobots in this movie... I think. If they are, they're only in it for the last twenty minutes or so with about six minutes of total screen time, and their names are never spoken of once (hence why I said he was supposedly Grimlock; they never even tell you his name in the movie). Not to mention that some don't even look like Dinobots; a few look like botched genetic experiment involving lizards that got a few tons of rusty metal welded onto their bodies. Did I mention the plot is idiotic and a complete copy/paste from the previous installments? My last criticism, is the run time. This movie has all the content you'd expect from a Michael Bay Transformers wet dream (ten explosions per second, battle scenes erupting around random hot girl extras, an UNDERAGE girl for the movie's main hot chick, and a moronic plot), and seemingly has the length of a Lord of the Rings film. Also, don't just look at me and say, "Oh you're just a guy who jumped on the Michael Bay hate bandwagon", because I'm not. I'm one of the few people willing to go on record saying that I liked Dark of the Moon. That being said, I hope it carries some considerable weight when I say that this is an awful film. Lastly, to those defending this garbage and saying that people who dislike it just don't know how to have fun with movies or some other stupid derogatory insult (seriously, I saw this one guy who said people giving this negative reviews should be hung), quit lying to yourself and realize that there are these things called opinions. In addition, you can't say that this is good if it lived up to your expectations. If you go in expecting this kind of crap and you get it, that still doesn't make it good. That just means it was what you were expecting; they're two completely different things. If it lived up to your expectations of being an explosions-fest with wooden characters you don't care about, you still can't say it's better or even as good as an action movie with good characters, good dialog, good acting, and a good story. This has none of those.

Verdict - 2.3/10.

Seriously though, the things some of these 'positive' reviews say just make me lose faith in humanity.