Review of Transformers (2007) by Steven S — 27 Jul 2014

"Transformers" (2007).

Just to say right off the bat, I don't claim to be an expert on Transformers so my review probably won't be the best one you ever read. Transformers are basically cars that transform into giant robots. There are both good and bad robots. The main protagonist is Optimus Prime and the antagonist is Megatron. In 2007, Transformers got its first live action movie simply called "Transformers", now known as "Transformers 2007". The film was directed by Michael Bay, with Steven Spielberg serving as executive producer. The film was a huge hit grossing out $709 million on a $150 million budget. The film revolves around the male teenager Sam Witwicky (played by Shia LaBeouf, I know, main character has a stupid last name, movie cliché) who is caught in the middle of a war between the heroic Autobots and the evil Decepticons, two factions of alien robots who can disguise themselves by transforming into everyday machinery, most notably, cars. The Autobots intend to use the AllSpark, the object that created their robotic race, in an attempt to rebuild Cybertron and end the war while the Decepticons desire control of the AllSpark with the intention of using it to build an army by giving life to the machines of Earth. Yeah, the story is pretty lame considering robots are technology and come nowhere from nature and I seriously doubt anywhere in the universe that there is a planet where robots pro-create.

While the movie isn't bad, it has some ridiculous clichés that get old and annoying. This movie was clearly made for kids and not as much for adults, but there is highly inappropriate material for children such as swear words like 'bitch', people giving the middle finger and a parent asking their teenage son if he was masturbating. It's as if this movie was trying to get a PG-13 rating on purpose and I think any parent would cringe if their five year old kid saw this. There is also so many sudden edits, it really seems like they show a new angle every two seconds, and this movie can't even keep up with itself. There's this one scene where the main characters are being chased by a Decepticon in the daytime and two seconds later, it's nighttime. The characters were boring and I can't get into them. The most ridiculous of which is Sam Witwicky's girlfriend Mikaela Banes (played by Megan Fox) who finds out that Sam is caught in the middle of a war between two highly advanced robotic races and she is completely understanding and also a hot chick. Seriously, what teenage girl would act like this? I think any normal girl would want nothing to do with him. Hot chick being completely understanding is a big movie cliché, no offense to all the hot chicks, but I never see this in real life. The robots are also very good at stealth and are very good at not being noticed. I know they can transform into objects such as cars or stereo speakers. But there is this one moment where a Decepticon disguises himself as a stereo speaker and sneaks his way on to Air Force One. He manages to walk across Air Force One and get inside a server room to steal top secret government files. Yeah, I think in reality that would be next to impossible. I think someone would have clearly noticed it and I'm sure there would be cameras all over the inside of the plane. That's the finest work by the Secret Service. I also hate how some of the government officials are assholes including the police and FBI, apparently everyone is a bad cop. There is also another confusing part where the military are in gun battle in the Middle East and one of them calls the Pentagon (yeah because every soldier fighting in the Middle East knows the highly confidential phone number to access the Pentagon) and is told he can't talk to an important figure without a credit card....WHAT? The Pentagon is a government organization, not a shopping mall. There is also a lot of over the top acting, the actors are just yelling which is easy to do, they don't seem to be in actual danger. Okay, going back to robots being good at stealth, the giant robots are able to hide in the main characters backyard even though they would probably cause a minor earthquake with their loud footsteps accompanied by the fact the teenage boy is acting very suspicious and of course, his parents fall for it. Forget that, nobody in the neighborhood noticed the robots walking around. If a T-Rex in Jurassic Park makes a loud noise walking around, I'm sure a giant robot would be no different.

While the movie is pretty lame, it's not horrible. It's a safe and marketable film for the most part and kids will probably love it. So, these movies will probably not go away anytime soon and kids will be begging their parents to see them, even if they get worse every time.

FINAL RATING: 6 out of 10.