Review of Total Recall (1990) by Coxxie M — 20 Jul 2016

Get ready for the ride of your life. cause like, theres gonna be more rides, definitely, like driving your car everyday to work and Burger-Kings and, you remember the night at the carnival when you really wanted to kiss that Tiffany chick like super, and you bought tickets for the ferris wheel and she didn't even talk til you were to the very top.

and now that I think of the title, it reminds me when I was calling her around midnight after halloween and she kept sending me to voicemail, but I didn't leave no message cause I aint no stalker, and I knew she forwarded me to voicemail too, the cunt, cause it only rand two and a half times.

and I like, kept calling and calling but nothing. that was such a total recall. and what a total skank. and so Schwarziniggers fuckin this broad who looks like Sharon Stone and he gets all pussy-like and turns her over sideways and looks teary talkin bout how he aint never been to mars.

fuck him. I aint been neither. I aint probably even seen movies about mars, but id be happier with tonsils grindin on Sharon Stone clit than a fucking red planet with not even enough water to drench her pussy back to full health after im done with it.

and then he goes to his therapist and tells him he has dreams of running around on mars and Dr. Kats is like, "if you wanna go to mars, set up an appointment. but hes like, "fuck that" and machine guns more people than i've seen have sex in my life and then after he gets there, Urkle with a laser pointer drives him to mars bars in a fag cab.

and this chick with three beautiful muffin bags and Schwarzinigger don't even suck one. anyway she gets shot and milk is spilling on the highway drowning possums and shit. but the capper is the guy in the mars lab basement talkin about "the key to quenching martians thirst is the red water" and he pulls up his shirt and this blackhead on his chest got so big that its letting out air at a speed where it sounds like words.

that made me laugh and I was reminded of deaf retard #2 from The Ringer when he was trying to call for help.