Review of Tooth and Nail (2007) by Steven N — 18 Apr 2009

The funniest thing about "Tooth and Nail" is that the online synopsis for it claims it stars such Hollywood "heavyweights" as Vinnie Jones, Michael Madsen, and Robert Carradine. While the three of them are in fact in the film, it's for a combined ten minutes.

Instead, be prepared for an hour and a half of Rider Strong. (Not something I would wish on even my worst enemies). The film tells the story of a group of people living in an abandoned hospital after a worldwide apocalypse brought on by "the world running out of gas.

" The group spends the film dealing with the threat of a group of cannibals looking to murder them, and feast on their wonderful meat. As you can imagine, this thing is a big, giant mess form beginning to end.

The acting is sloppy from top to bottom, sometimes moving from simply being sloppy to comically bad. The script is a mess, the characters goofy, and the ending so laughably bad that it'll make you want to throw the remote control at your television.

In case you haven't yet figured it out, my advice is to skip "Tooth and Nail." It tires very, very hard to be exciting, and gory, and have some sort of message, failing on all three counts.