Review of Titanic II (2010) by Scott A — 23 Sep 2012

Upon heating than a film called "Titanic 2" exists, one would naturally assume that it's a disaster spoof movie like "Airplane" or "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes". Oh, if only we could have been so lucky.

No, this film is deathly serious, a tragically dumb and lifeless picture that bears only a passing resemblance to the modern day James Cameron classic. In fact, this made-for-video flick has more in common with the 1972 film "The Poseidon Adventure", but it doesn't have the scope of either film. At only ninety minutes, with its minuscule budget and ridiculous script, the only way it could have succeeded was as a parody.

The writing is bad, but the acting is worse, and there's a terrible shortage of characters for you to care about. Getting to know the ensemble disaster picture cast is one of the genres greatest joys, and this dud even deprives you of that since it's only really focused on about six people. Anything more than that was obviously not in the budget. The idea to build another Titanic is pretty ludicrous (not that we're given any backstory as to why or how that happened), but it's not as silly as the science behind why it capsizes yet again. The screenwriter's logic doesn't seem to be very sound, and that's putting it mildly.

Still, the absolute worst thing about this film are the shockingly bad CGI effects. Very little in "Titanic 2" is in the least bit convincing, from the story right on down the line. This picture was a terrible idea any way you look at it.