Review of Time Bandits (1981) by Erik R — 12 Jan 2014

Old-timer movie watchers, I believe, suffer from a terrible case of rose-colored glasses. I'm constantly watching movies, both old and new, and I am always appalled by how inferior -most- old movies are. I don't just mean relative minor-leaguers like Time Bandits but also Classics like Lawrence of Arabia, which won best picture in 1962.

They are inferior in almost every way imaginable. Of course technology has vastly improved - even in less obvious areas like editing. Modern editing, though sometimes overdone, is cleaner and better. But they're inferior even in non-technology areas, like acting. Watch Lawrence of Arabia and see how awkwardly over-the-top theatrical the acting was back then. Eek.

Time Bandits also suffers from a bit of unrealistic nostalgia. I was made to believe it was the GREATEST CHILDREN'S MOVIE of all time. Or that it would even be funny. Instead, it was just overwhelming and scatter-brained. There's just too many ideas, and they don't properly connect to a grand central theme. Consider, for example, a ten minute segment in which a dainty, naive Robin Hood, backed by a gang of brutes, "liberates" the time bandits of their ill-gotten spoils. The scene happens and then is never brought up again. It fails to advance plot or characterization or really do much of anything in the grander scheme of things.

The whole movie is like that. They hop onto the titanic and it sinks. Then they end up on a boat with a troll who suffers from back-pain. And then the boat is the hat of a giant walking out of the sea. And then there's a desert and a magical invisible glass wall. And it's like... wtf?

I know, I know. It's a children's movie. But it's entirely possible to have a film that appeals to both children and adults. Pixar does it all the time. Time Bandits does not.

Final Say: Time Bandits has a great imagination, unfortunately flawed by a lack of intelligent plotting and characterization. Not a bad watch, but there is plenty better out there, whether you're a kid or an adult.

How to Watch It: Not caring too much about the plot. The imagination explosion is delightful, so, if you are able, picture yourself in a Nickelodeon game-show, with slime and ooze being dropped on your head. Just accept it.

Trivia: The character of Fidgit was played by the dwarf Kenny Baker, who also voiced R2-D2 in Star Wars!