Review of Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (2017) by Erik C — 26 Nov 2017

Mildred's angry??? not as angry as me after seeing this raging, tedious disappointment. I cant even begin to count the absurdities in this film they piled up so fast. so we're supposed to believe a police department, even one in a podunk town in missouri, would employ a man who's borderline retarded and galactically vile.

...as an officer of the law? are there no academies in missouri, and how in hell did dixon ever get out of one? and were supposed to believe that this same cop can crack a civilian's head open and throw him out a second story window, in full view of witnesses, and suffer nothing but the loss of his badge? and even then only because the new chief happens to be black? not one other cop, not even his superiors, even seems to notice that he just attempted to MURDER someone???? and that this someone just happens to be in the same hospital room that dixon ends up in, and does the assaultee throttle him, like any normal person would do? NOOOOO! he offers him.

...ORANGE JUICE. WHAT?? and this same cop later on doesnt even notice a raging inferno RIGHT BEHIND HIM at the station, and instead of just going out the back way he jumps right through the fire? and were supposed to believe that the killer waltzes into mildreds shop and basically confesses.

..and this lady vengeance just lets him STROLL RIGHT OUT OF THERE? and were supposed to believe that this same killer, sitting in a bar with only THREE people in it, openly discusses the murder....with dixon sitting literally TWO INCHES AWAY? and the killer DOESN'T EVEN NOTICE HIM until he gets up to go outside? and when he comes back the killer actually says "was he here the whole time?" WHAT!!!!? and lucky viewers we are, we are treated to not one.

...not two....THREE posthumous readings of letters by the police chief that go on FOREVER and set new records for tedium. and what the hell is a gorgeous woman...with an australian accent...but only some of the time.

..doing in ebbing missouri anyway...and why the hell is she married to woody harrelson? and why the OBSESSION throughout the film with her ex-husbands teenage girlfriend, who has one scene and it is the dumbest scene in a movie chockablock with them? AND WHAT THE HELL DOES SHE SEE IN JOHN HAWKES? AND WHO CAAARES? I wont even bother replaying some of the other absurd moments in this film (woody with his wife at the lake with the kids - just make it stop) and does peter dinklage actually say "little boys room?" that was it for me.

I could take no more.