Review of The Wolverine (2013) by Jared — 26 Jul 2013

An incoherent mess. It was all over the place, the story was pointless and confusing. The setting is extremely questionable. Japan?! Everything that happened on screen made no sense, did nothing for the character, and gives us a story that goes in a very peculiar direction for the beloved Wolverine.

A weird mutant villain, poorly portrayed, and her motivation was lacking any reason. The robot thing along with that was confusing and just didn't make any sense.

All these low-brow superhero flicks tend to bring up so many ideas about losing powers and gaining powers, it's ridiculous. Nobody follows through with these ideas anyway. Nobody cares. There wasn't contrast, it was confusion. Scratching my head over the whole purpose of the story. They had so much potential. A good director, but what the hell is with the story?

There's a million ideas, and they pick a strange one. It's like having a Batman movie taking place in Florida and Michael Cera playing the villain. It just doesn't make any sense.

There were a few action scenes that gave some laughs, but for the most part it was disgusting action. Not genuine at all. The performance by Hugh Jackman honestly, felt fake. I couldn't see the old awesome, funny LOgan because he wasn't there. He wasn't being the character, he was just acting it. Pretending to be Wolverine. With those ridiculously questionable eyebrows and extreme vein problems. I mean it felt fake. I think he's overdue. I mean, its like a Jack Sparrow deal. Overdue, overdone, and just past expiry. They could've changed actors, give the character a whole new vision. Why not? They do it all the time with Superman, Batman, and Spiderman. 3 of the most iconic superheroes ever. But no, these marvel guys, which half of them I didn't even know until they made movies about them, are untouchable and special. You cant change their actors. The directing was entertaining but it can't hold up this dreadfully incoherent mess of a storyline. I didn't get it, I was confused, and it was a waste of my money. I promised I wouldn't see this because I knew it would be awful. Well I saw it because it was a 61/100. Better than the hobbit?! Okay, shouldn't be bad. It was gripping, but the writing of the story seemed ad-libbed without a strong vision to take the story of the character to an intriguing, interesting level. It's pointless.

In the end, nobody cares and throughout the watch, nobody cared.

I'm finished with these flashy, money-grab superhero blockbusters that everybody is forced to go on the bandwagon for, but deep down I know aren't very good. I've predicted every metascore this summer so far and I've gotten all of them right so far. Might as well go back and see The Conjuring, because that is really the only movie worth seeing right now, and is the big July movie this summer.

I even missed the apparent after-credits scene. Aw c'mon. You're kidding me? Now I'm real disappointed.