Review of The Wicker Man (2006) by Zacho D — 24 May 2014

The Wicker Man is truly awful and probably one of the worst in all of the casts' careers.

A remake of the 1973 British horror film, The Wicker Man is about patrolman, Edward, and he is revealed to be recovering from terrible accident. One day, he gets a letter from his long lost wife, Willow, who had left him without any explanation. The letter includes her daughter Rowan and he goes to Summerisle, a very eccentric, weird islandlike place in which Willow lives. She says that Rowan is actually their daughter together and Edward finds himself in a wind of trouble when he finds out that the occupants of the island is practicing old rituals about (of course, this has NEVER happened before) sacrifice and fearing that Rowan will be a victim, he learns dark secrets about an alleged wicker man.

Horrendous. That is the word for how this film projects itself. Even the cast is terrible. Nicolas Cage, in which is probably his unintentional worst performance, is exceedingly over the top as Edward, giving a particular laughable outcome, especially with the "NOT THE BEES!! NOT THE BEES!!!" scene in what is supposed to be torturous.

And that is a major problem in the film's story.

Not only is this remake unnecessary, it's not even serious. This is outright funny at some parts unintentionally. This film is literally a joke. There are no frightening moments, or even remotely scary moments. A film like this would have so much potential, but unfortunately, it comes off as one of the worst horror remakes.