Review of The Thing (2011) by Ven-Wede — 06 Feb 2012

The first question that must be asked of this uncalled for remake (they call it a prequel, but let's not kid ourselves) is "to whom is this film aimed?". The answer cannot be for nostalgic fans of John Carpenter's film, as they will not in any way be satisfied with this monstrosity.

So perhaps it is being made for new horror fans that may have missed out on the 'original'. Well, even if this were the case, they too would be disappointed, as the horror here is just a mix of jump scares and action sequences.

All of the tension and psychological fear is replaced with contradiction and inconsistency, and the memorable characters and brutally shocking Thing encounters are replaced with walking monster fodder and CGI assery.

Nothing in this film makes the slightest bit of sense, and what is perhaps the most unbelievably DISASTROUS alteration to the formula is just how aware everyone is to the existence of an alien being. The movie's plot relies on the idea that The Thing is nothing more than a bug from Outer Space.

Some piss-poor dialogue and offensively blatant direction (point to your teeth so that the stupid audience know what you are holding are teeth!) lead to this being one giant warbling beast of pathetic cinema.

Fans of John Carpenter's film should stay well clear of this stinker.