Review of The Thing (1982) by Cameron J — 11 Oct 2012

In this wacky adventure, the inhabitants of an Antarctic research facility find themselves trapped with a parasitic alien that violently assimilates organisms and brutally slaughters all those who try to stop its godless rampage. Man, I hate it when that happens, and I very much say that sarcastically to remind myself that this titular "thing" (Not the most creative title for an alien film, but hey, whatever) isn't real, no matter how disgustingly realistic all of the gore is. So yeah, this isn't quite as delightful as that certain other successful alien film of 1982, though I'd imagine Steven Spielberg wishes that he had done this film, because as much as he loves aliens, cool effects and, of course, ridiculously amounts of gore, this would have probably been his crowning achievement. Of course, I'm ultimately glad that John Carpenter did this, not necessarily because he knows his gore, because, woah boy, this gets to be too much, but because it's often a good sign when they bring back the guy behind a film to do the sequel. This is essentially the real sequel to "Escape from New York", "Escape from Antarctica", being released a year later, and even having Kurt Russell himself. Wow, he finally makes it out of New York and somehow gets his other eye back, but now, Snake Plissken has this, well, "thing" to worry about; he just can't catch a break. Hey, at least it makes for a good film, though one that doesn't always "assimilate" you (Absorb, for all of you lazy bums who don't feel like finding a dictionary), as there are quite a few aspects that knock you out.

The film is more reliant upon atmosphere and interaction than I expect, thus there's not a whole lot of gore during much of the film's body, but once the heads start rolling, or rather, at one point, sprouting spider legs and scurrying around, it's either effective or just plain too much. I'm no dog fan and have seen manipulative dogs deaths time and again, and just enough to where I'll sooner laugh an the lack of subtlety than be even mildly disturbed (Cats, on the other hand, I can't shake that stuff), but what this alien does to a group of dogs upon its arrival is so inventively sick and over-the-top in its either being too manipulative or just for show that it's not so much effective as much as it's just too much, and that's just first blood. After that scene, violence takes a long break, but once it eventually returns, it often continues to go a bit too far over the top, to the point of leaving the film to feel just plain exploitative with its taking advantage of opportunities to try some inventive gore ideas, which dilutes the resonant bite to the disturbances and leaves the violence to come off as simply gratuitous spectacle. Again, the film's violence is just as often supplementary to the film's effectiveness as it is too supplementary to the film's simply being violent for the sake of being violent, yet the fact of the matter is that much of this gore goes too far, and quite frankly, over-the-top or not, gore is kind of what you want you want on occasions, seeing as how it livens things up and all, because more often than not, this film get's to be a bit too atmospheric for its own good. At about 109 minutes, this film definately isn't too terribly lengthy, yet for what it is, it outstays its welcome, or at least things feel that way, as the film keeps pumping meditative atmosphere at you even when there's nothing to meditate upon, thus much of the film is made considerably slow, if not a bit dull, and it's made all the worse by many dragging scenes that slow pacing down to a crawl, or at least to a speedless state, which makes every minute of this relatively overlong film all too palpable. The film is consistently slow and overdrawn, and its pacing is consistently off, yet the intial acts are when this film is at it's most bland, and considerably so, to where the film, as a whole, nearly collapses as underwhelming, and that certainly slows down momentum, which is rarely, if ever quite as above-and-beyond as it should be at any point in the final product. However, although this film doesn't quite take off as far as it probably should have, the final product stands strong much more than it slips up, and ultimately comes out as generally rewarding, as, if nothing else, an awesome testament to the magic of practical effects.

Certain effects have dated a bit, with the final form of the monster that comes and thankfully quickly goes in the final act being particularly improvable (Hey, at least it's less improvable than the cop-out of a "just ends with loose ends" ending), yet on the whole, Stan Winston's and Rob Bottin's effects were groundbreaking at the time and remain impressive to this day in their being highly inventive and generally relatively intricate and verisimilar, even if the effects that are crafted aren't quite the most visually appealing that you can find. That being said, when the gore works, it hits hard, for although this film's violence and grotesque imagery gets to be too much at times, there are still plenty of gore moments that are rather nifty in their inventiveness, if not rather effective in their establishing a sense of brutal consequence. The gore succeeds at what it sets out to do more often than not, which is just enough for you to get a feel for the intrigue of this very terrifying situation, and such intrigue goes intensified by the selling of the more human aspects of the film through the performances, as this is very much a bottle film, with danger around every corner and someone who will dish out such danger, and in a situation like that, humanity dies even in those untainted by something inhuman, so of course there's a lot riding on these performers, and they deliver, with compelling layers and subtle depth that firmly establishes a sense that no one is trusted and no one is safe, thus making for a myriad of strong performances and a myriad of compelling characters. Of course, what might very well be the most effective performance is the one conducted offscreen, for although John Carpenter gets to be too atmospheric for his own good, to where he renders this film more slow than it probably should be, the fact of the matter is that Carpenter knows how to work with atmosphere, so as sure as sunshine, you'd be hard pressed to make it from the beggining of this film to the end without having your nerves tighten up somewhere in between. If Carpenter doesn't get your blood pumping, then he at least sustains your attention, or at least during the body, because as I said, this film starts out of the gate limping, but once things pick up and danger is established, Carpenter's graces atmosphere with striking intrigue that engrosses and has you on the edge of your seat, fearing and wondering as much as the doomed souls onscreen. Of course, once all of this talking dies down and things go down, Carpenter sparks things up, with tension that pulls you into the heat of the moment, shakes you up and leaves you to walk away hit pretty hard, maybe not extactly to where you'll find yourself near-catatonic or anything like that, but decidedly to where you'll find yourself pumped and compelled. Now, all of this isn't especially consistent, yet it is consistent on some level enough to keep you going more often than not, with the moments in which this film really strikes having enough bite with to stick with you and help in making this film a reasonably worthwhile on.

Bottom line, the film often goes a bit too far with its gore, to where it finds itself simply and gratuitously selling violence for violence's sake, yet the biggest strike against this film is simply it's being too amtospheric for its own good at times, to where it's rendered slow, if not a bit dull, and slowed down even further by many a dragging scene that goes into the dramatic slowing of pacing and the rendering of the final product as not quite as striking as it should be, though not to where the film is left underwhelming, as the final product remains a dazzling showcase of stellar practical effects that, when used relatively properly for gore, supplement this film's intensity, which goes further supplemented by a myriad of compellingly atmospheric performances, as well as brought to life by John Carpenter's atmospheric direction, which is generally effective in its establishing striking tension during the livlier spots and enough thorough engrossing intrigue to help in making Carpenter's "The Thing" a rewardingly intense thriller with dazzling style and gripping substance.

3/5 - Good.