Review of The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023) by Mathiasbs — 05 Apr 2023

This movie does not feel like a product of Nintendo, but rather like a somewhat okay cartoon but with a Nintendo license tacked on - and why is that?

Nintendo has managed to stay relevant across several generations now, because they’ve always been great at utilizing their history to cater to the longtime fans, while still making experiences that are welcoming to newcomers. The Mario franchise has always been the poster child for this approach, recently using a formula of having a main quest that gets deeper and more complicated the further you get, teaching the player new skills along the way, but never so hard that you can’t finish it, while also providing optional content that is intended mostly for the people who have played since the 80s/90s.

This design philosophy holds true in pretty much all 1st party Nintendo games that have been released since the GameCube era, but this approach is in no way captured in the Super Mario Bros Movie, and I think that’s what’s missing here.

Of course, you can’t translate gameplay directly to a story, especially given how barebones Nintendo’s general storytelling is in the first place, but the Mario movie feels like it introduces a great level 1, a decent level 2 but then never moves on to level 3, but just stays in the easy, comfortable zone where everything is still on autopilot. This is, however, probably a choice made by the director, because this is a movie that is 100% intended for kids, ages 5-12, so they can buy tons of merchandise and tickets for Super Nintendo World, and personally, I think that’s a damn shame when Nintendo has managed to pull off bridging the gap between several generations for so long, even though some franchises, like Mario, obviously still has a bigger appeal to children. It’s a choice made with money in mind, but it would have been totally possible to make something more impactful, that could have been more than a 90 minute commercial. Lego Movie did it flawlessly, and showed us how to interweave nostalgia, whimsy and childish humor into a seamless blend for all ages.

The Mario movie just goes hardcore on the whimsy, in a stupid, unfunny way (most of the jokes are just TERRIBLE, and don’t get me started on Bowsers cringy song… ugh), while they put in a TON of easter eggs in an effort to please the adults. In some situations this works, but it could have been so much more, and so, the movie ends up feeling very disappointing. I was totally expecting I would cry by the end of this thing; I mean, I cried when I reached New Donk City in Super Mario Odyssey; but this movie did not even manage to give me goosebumps. I felt nothing, to be honest. The characters and story are about as deep as the original 2D game.

Also, the voice acting just never clicked with me. These versions of Mario & Co are all pretty bland, except maybe Jack Black as Bowser: but honestly, I think the only reason he shines through, is because he is the only voice that seems to somewhat match the character he portrays. He doesn’t feel as off, as all the other voices. Worst of all is Cranky Kong. Like, what the hell? At least give the character a voice that matches their body type. 5/10 from me.

Had this been a theme park ride, it would’ve been pretty good; it’s beautiful, the soundtrack is pretty great and the fan service is fantastic. The story however is paper thin, and there’s just. so much wasted potential, resulting in a weird product that fails in being a movie, but succeeds in being a cool visual experience if you like the Mario universe already. Just don’t expect Nintendo magic, or any actual, you know, plot.