Review of The Space Between Us (2017) by K Nife C — 16 Sep 2017

Dear lord, I can't stand Asa Butterfield. Not only is he a craptastic actor, but he has one of the most punchable faces in the history of cinema. Granted, he is reading from an Alan Loeb script, a writer whose lines would only work if read as ironic comedy.

I don't think I've scoffed as hard and often this year as I did during the barrage of saccharine sentiments that emanate from both Butterfield and Gary Oldman. The movie is clearly designed to pack an emotional punch for idiot saps, but even the lowest common denominator will find the lovey dovey cheese cloying and trite.

I didn't think Loeb could top Collateral Beauty in this respect, but he has been on a roll in his quest to the bottom of the dollar Blu-Ray bin ever since 21 back in 2008. The only reason why he's still getting his scripts produced are because he's garnered a collective 450 million dollars at the box office.

Just keep drinking the kool aid, America. Anyway, in order to have a movie, a female astronaut somehow makes it to Mars before anyone realizes she is pregnant. She excretes Butterfield and dies, and the boy grows up on the red planet.

The space program, fronted by an exquisitely hammy Oldman, lies to the media so no one knows the boy exists, but they don't seem to mind him talking to a world-weary, cynical, high school, foster kid girl via the internet.

He makes his way to Earth and sneaks out of his quarantine to find his internet girlfriend so they can track down his father. She's an amazing singer songwriter who can fly a crop duster, he is a hopelessly romantic fish out of water with a debilitating condition, and glorious schmaltz and cheese ensue.

Just like Collateral Beauty, everyone involved with this film should be embarrassed, and every copy of it should be destroyed.